Finest Hour

Happy New Year

2011-12-30T10:36:00.001-06:00

This year has been a whirlwind. Here is a list of a few random things I’ve learned, experienced, and captured in the book of 2011 that will be placed on the shelf of my memory. Happy New Year, Everyone!

-Blonde hair , short hair, Long Hair, Brown hair- My hair styles in one year alone could be a Dr. Seuss book.

-Sometimes the best things in life come in big packages…like 9 lb 10 oz packages.

-Going to the beach while pregnant really is the best way to go. You can eat as much as you want because your maternity bathing suit and baby are your ticket to not having to suck anything in.

-Good things come to those who wait. ..especially when the wait is long and painful.

-Season changes with weather often leave me with wardrobe variety and allergies. Season changes in life leave me with new friends, new beginnings, and spiritual growth.

-Only the cuteness of your child can overcome the trifecta of being peed, pooped, and puked on in a matter of hours.

-The Epidural- Best. Invention. Ever.

-Every parent of an infant needs a ceiling fan. If you have had an infant, you know why.

-A husband that will get up during midnight feedings with you is a keeper. One that cracks jokes and makes fun of you while you’re working the breast pump at 2 AM…even better.

-Peeling potatoes, spreading homemade pizza dough, and cleaning a lasagna pan that that did not get sprayed with oil- The 3 most annoying kitchen related activities known to man.

-I should NEVER watch shows about UFO sightings or hear ghost stories right before my husband goes on a business trip.

-Yelling at a computer printer doesn’t help it unjam.

-Sugar Feet, Princess, and Kiddo- The three favorite names I’ve been called by grocery store cashiers

-Never underestimate the value of a delivered meal to a family with a newborn.

-A few toothless smiles cover a multitude of sleepless nights

-Pintrest is dangerous thing for my “Can you make me this” list for my super creative husband

-Time flies when you are having fun so try your best to savor the moments while you’re in them!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-20T10:05:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!!! May you have a blessed Christmas celebrating the real reason for the season..A King was born unto us!

Homemade Liquid Handsoap

2011-11-15T22:22:00.009-06:00

A couple of my soap dispensers were getting low and I noticed my refill jug only had a few drops of soap left in it. The other day I also ran across a recipe for homemade hand soap. I thought, “Why not?” And so I did.

Ingredients:
2- 4oz bars of soap (not beauty bars or moisture bars. Needs to be bar soap)
2 Tablespoons of Glycerin (Found in the first aid aisle)
1 Gallon of Water

Large pot, cheese grater, wooden spoon, and container for soap

First use the cheese grater to shave the bars of soap. Next place the soap shavings in 1 gallon of heated water (heated at high heat close to a boil). Add Glycerin. Stir until all soap shavings have melted. Remove from heat. Let sit undisturbed for 10-12 hours. Stir soap with a wooden spoon. Soap will have hardened. If needed, take electric mixer and mix up the soap. Add water if after mixing, it is not the consistency of liquid hand soap. Pour into container and store.

The bars of soap were $1.75 for 2 bars. The Glycerin was less than $3 and I used a small portion of the bottle (less than half). The gallon jug is over twice the size of the Softsoap refill that I usually buy (See picture to compare). The cost of making this soap was just a fraction of what you would spend at the store. It was kind of fun to make and was very easy to do. The bar soap I used was Pomegranate Mango (Softsoap Brand). It’s got a nice scent and a pretty pink color too!

You know you've been baptized into parenthood when...

2011-11-13T00:28:00.006-06:00

-You can’t leave the house because you have run out of clothes that don’t have vomit on them

-You’ve been pooped, peed and spit up on all within a matter of a few hours

-You keep checking the baby’s diaper and then realize the smell of urine is coming from your own clothes and left from the last diaper leak

-You find yourself humming a strange tune in the grocery store and then recall it’s the song from the baby bouncer music box

-You ride in the car with white noise blaring through the speakers just to get some peace and quiet

-You learn how to do most household chores with one arm

-You agree that no one should cry over spilled milk, but would argue for the exception of breast milk. If that spills, it’s more than acceptable to cry

-You can put the 20 pieces of a Dr. Brown’s bottle together in your sleep

-You kiss your baby’s temple and get smeared eye goop on your face and somehow you’re not really bothered by it

-You’ve considered taking a swig of your child’s Milicon because it’s easier than trying to find the bottle of Tums in the other room

-Your breakfast, lunch, and dinner are at times one in the same meal

-You need to change your camera battery as often as you do the baby’s diapers

-You love watching your baby sleep peacefully and could literally stare at them in awe for hours while doing so

DIY Fisherman Costume

2011-10-29T21:42:00.003-05:00

We made our costumes again this year. I was pretty proud of the fact I spent less than $10 on the whole family's outfits. The shark costume was supposed to cost $12.50 at the store. That was the sale price since it was 50% off. I thought that was a good deal. It was the last one in that size, and when I got to the register to pay, I saw there was no tag on it. The cashier insisted on looking the code up in her computer. When she did, it rang up as $0.68! I felt guilty and pointed it out to her. She told me, "I looked it up and it says shark costume and that's a shark costume. I'm giving it to you for that price." She looked frustrated with me for trying to point it out. So...i just let it go and was happy to get a bargain! As for the adult costumes- we had the clothing and hats already. All I had to do was buy safety pins, fishing worms, and a few bobbers. My creative husband took our antique fishing rods and put them on a couple wooden sticks. Easy DIY costumes!

4 Weeks

2011-10-24T12:03:00.001-05:00

Our son turns 4 weeks old tomorrow. Although these past few weeks seem kind of blurred, we have had many wonderful memories of the start of his life here with us. Along with those good memories, I have learned more than I ever imagined I would in this short time. I think it’s safe to say, I had no idea parenting was going to be this challenging. Turns out I don’t know everything and have found myself praying (a lot) for guidance. The cuddles and smiles thankfully make up for those insecure moments when I find myself the need to apologize to my son with the words, “Sorry, I’m new at this and don’t know what I’m doing.”

Here are a few things I’ve learned in the short time I’ve had my new job as “Mom.”

- I rely on positive reinforcement more than I thought. Not being able to comfort a crying baby for a long period of time is not easy (but apparently normal)
- Babies go through approximately 200+ diapers a day
- I can function on less sleep than I thought I could
- Everyone has an opinion when it comes to babies and how to raise them. Not everyone knows how to keep it to themselves.
- Newborns don’t come with a manual but really should
- “I don’t think that’s normal. Maybe I should call the Dr.” is a common everyday thought the first week of having your child at home.
- A couple smiles (real ones not gas) can make an evening of crying so much easier
- Cuddles are precious at any hour of the day
- It’s entirely possible to have a love/hate relationship with a breast pump
- The sounds that notify you of a dirty diaper are not the sign of an immediate diaper change need. Wait..there’s probably more coming. If you’re in the midst of a change when it does, you will be covered in it and need to change yourself. Don’t jump the gun.
- That nook between my neck and shoulder was long ago made for my little boy. Who knew?!
- The value of a prepared meal for new parents is immeasurable. A month FULL of meals brought to you by sweet friends is absolutely amazing.
- The miracle of life and a baby’s tiny little parts are some of the coolest things you can witness in life.
- When picking up your crying child and his tears actually stop as if comforted by his Mother’s arms…Ahh…that’s a really great feeling
- Elastic is a post partum woman’s best friend. So are girlfriends who tell you that you look great when you probably don’t.
- Date night with your spouse is more than okay within the first few weeks. In fact, it should be mandatory.
- Best advice you can give a new Mom- “Do what works best for you and baby and don’t worry about what the books or others say or think.”

He is Here!!

2011-10-09T08:39:00.002-05:00

Our little Bundle of Joy has Arrived! 9lbs 10oz 21 3/4 inches. He arrived on Sept 27th at 5:38 PM!

The Final Countdown

2011-09-14T15:38:00.003-05:00

We are now within days of meeting our son. He tried to come six weeks early and we managed to get labor to stop at that time in the hospital. Fast forward to now, it’s only a week and a half to my due date. Any day now could be the day he is born. Life is about to change drastically!

That’s not to say it hasn’t changed over the last 9 months. Our grocery list has certainly changed over the past few months. On average I go through about a half gallon of Blue Bell ice-cream per week. I can easily eat four pounds of grapes per week. I have a hard time keeping things like cheese, pizza, dark chocolate, or sour cream in the house. They all disappear quite quickly. Our toilet paper needs have increased exponentially especially as we draw nearer to the birth. Lately, I’ve had dreams of showing up totally unprepared for an event like a race. The last two nights I’ve had dreams that I find out there was a typo in my marriage license, and my marriage is not legal. So, I try to fix the issue and of course find myself in the midst of planning a last minute wedding before the baby comes. I plan details of the ceremony and reception while I’m feeling contractions. We have gone from summers of jogging, kayaking, sailing, and cycling to me feeling really proud if I can walk from the parking lot to the store without having to stop to catch my breath. Don’t get me started on the waddle I’ve adopted.

The uncomfortable days and changes I’m going through now are bringing us one more day closer to holding him. They are all worth it. It sure has been an adventure for us all though. As for the dreams…It doesn’t take a professional to point out that there’s a good chance I’m feeling anxious that I’m not prepared for parenthood. Don’t get me wrong, I think we will be good parents, but I’m guessing there will be a normal learning curve for us to experience. We both catch on quickly to things so I think we will be okay.

As we wait for the big day, please say a pray for us if you think of it. An easy delivery would be a pleasant surprise, and of course we hope for no complications. A healthy baby is what we hope and pray for. Thanks for your prayers and support! We will post pictures soon of our little bundle of joy!

A Place Not Long Ago

2011-09-01T20:03:00.000-05:00

I was recently reminded of a place I was in not long ago. It was a place of not knowing and a place of desperate longing to figure out where to go in life. I can remember that place as if I was there yesterday, yet it seems like a lifetime ago.

I knew there was more to life and more to my future than what was on the path in front of me. I just didn’t know which way to turn, which new path to take, or what would be in store for me. Looking back I can almost picture the Lord looking down at me smiling and saying “Just hang on. You are about to see what I’ve been working on for you!” I had no idea. The waiting about drove me insane. I waited and started to feel like better days, clearer paths, and the purpose driven life I’d longed for was never going to happen.

More than six years later, I can look back and smile. Little did I know that in a few short years I would meet a wonderful man to share my life with, get married, go on new adventures in life, grow stronger through trials, and start building a family. I stand in awe of how He works at times. I had no idea it was in store for me and wouldn’t have even imagined asking for the blessings I’ve now received.

Isaiah 40:31

"Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."

I once heard this verse explained in a different way than I had heard before. Many times we claim we are waiting for the Lord but really we are waiting for an event, or a specific thing we have in our minds. For example, when you find out you are pregnant you find yourself waiting for the baby to be born. This verse explains that we should be waiting for the Lord..meaning we are waiting for whatever His plan is for us in any given situation. Then and only then we will gain new strength.

Are you waiting for change? Waiting for a new path? Waiting for a spouse, job, a child, or even healing? If so, are you growing weary? Try waiting for the Lord -whatever his plan is. In Ephesians 3:20, we are told “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Take joy in the fact that He sits above on His throne smiling down saying to you, “Hang on…you are about to see what I’ve been working on for you.”

A Few Random Things From My Mind

2011-06-08T13:33:00.001-05:00

Why do we look down on the homeless man begging for money at the corner of the street, but smile and give to the man holding out a jar collecting money for his kid’s baseball team at the stop light? Is begging for money okay in society if you don’t look poor?

No scientific proof is needed to make us believe “Pregnancy Brain” is real. The proof is in my daily living and daily bizarre acts of strangeness. Somehow it’s contagious too. My husband has not only sympathy pains with the pregnancy but sympathy “Pregnancy Brain” as well. If it doesn’t end, our child may be doomed.

A Mac or a PC? Jury is still out.

One time I was “detained” in an Ethiopia jail for a day. That didn’t make me nervous. The Breast pump isle at Target- THAT makes me nervous!

Things I like about summer- Homemade Ice-cream, Thursday Night Concerts on the Lake, Farmer’s Markets, Swimming, and a little color to my skin. (Notice Heat and Humidity are not listed here)

I’d like to take this time to Thank Old Navy for making dresses that make me feel pregnant and not fat.

2 years later…I still think my husband is cute while he is sleeping.

Baggage of all kinds is heavy to carry. I say pack what you need, leave the rest behind.

After many years I still believe the GPS might be one of this century’s best inventions.

The Mustard Seed

2011-04-07T12:22:00.002-05:00

One of the worst sounds I’ve ever heard was when I was nearby a woman just learning of her son’s suicide. I watched, as if in slow motion, her body crumble to the ground. While in the fetal position, a wailing sound came from her. She was weeping, and it was a deep cry coming from the depths of her soul. She was a stranger to me. I’d never met her. From that moment on, I’d never forget her or that sound billowing out from her inner most being.

I heard this sound a second time. It was right after the earthquake in Haiti. A woman was on the news sitting next to her dead child’s body on the side of the road. She was rocking back and forth. As she sat in a pile of concrete rubble, this sound was pouring from her lips, through the TV, to my ears, and into my heart. It was deep, powerful, painful, and originated from her spirit. The sounds from this broken Haitian woman still echo in my mind.

It’s the sound of pain. It’s the sound of loss. It’s the sound of something that was a part of them being ripped away. It’s powerful, and makes your own heart break seeing it from a distance. It did to me both times. The sound is unmistakable. On June 17th, 2010, I was surprised to hear it again. Only this time, it was coming from me.

In what was a little more than two short months of happiness, our joy turned to sadness. We learned that the child I was pregnant with had died in my womb. As that same sound poured from me, I felt an eerie invitation into the brotherhood of mothers who have experienced loss. It’s a brotherhood of sorts for the suffering. I was repulsed by it. It’s not the kind of club you dream of joining. Unfortunately, there is no option to “return to sender” on this type of invite. There was no box to check “not able to attend” on the RSVP section. I was violently taken there with my feet dragging, and I hated the forced initiation. In this club, there are many, probably more than we know. Although it’s a comfort knowing you’re not the only one there, it doesn’t take away the reason you are there…the loss of a child. It’s not an easy thing to go through.

The baby died, but my body didn’t know it. We had gone in for an ultrasound, and it was expected to be routine. Instead of leaving with a picture in our hands and smiles on our faces, we left with concerns. Something didn’t seem right. One week later, it was confirmed that the baby was no longer alive. It’s surreal how it feels like a lifetime ago, but yet only yesterday that it all happened. It changed me and I’ll probably never be the same. How can you lose something so precious to you and not be changed? I felt crushed, robbed, and broken.

I remember the prayers softly spoken as tears violently chased each other down my face so many nights. I silently muttered them with the slightest ounce of faith. It was so small; you could say it was the size of a mustard seed. “Lord, please start healing my heart.” Deep down, I wasn’t sure it would happen. Gradually, it did.

As the one year anniversary of that day draws near, I’m in awe of how He works. Do we still hurt? Yes, there will always be a scar on our hearts. However, God’s plan is great and we rejoice in the joy He has given us since that horrible day in June. I’m now expecting a little one due in Sept. We’ve made it past the danger zone of the first trimester and as my Dr. says “everything looks perfect” this time around. A sweet little miracle was in store for us. We prayed for it and received. I look forward to the day in Sept when we can introduce him or her to the world.

I have a small jar of mustard seeds on the counter of our kitchen. I look at it often and am reminded of the verse below. May you claim the promises He has for you in whatever place you are in your life. A miracle may just be in store for you in the days ahead…..

Matthew 17:20

"He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Super Bowl Fever

2011-01-31T16:15:00.002-06:00

It’s not the motorcade to provide safety that bothers me. It’s the crowds of people standing along side of the road waving and cheering widely. It’s the airplane “Shower of Affection” that is normally given to heroes, military servicemen, or dignitaries upon arrival at an airport. It’s the armed motorcade, news breaking reports, etc for the carrying in of the football trophy. I’m all about a good football game, don’t get me wrong. I’m just not about to worship the players. Ugh.

This is Super Bowl week in Dallas. As I watched people line the road, to wave at the players riding by in their police accompanied parade, I think of Palm Sunday. Remember when the people waved palms as the Messiah rode by on a Donkey? Today, we give an even bigger welcome and worship to our society’s idols that play a sport. The players are very well paid for their jobs, I might add. Christ PAID a price to do what He was placed here to do, and He did it to save us..not pad his bank account.

Yes, I’ll be watching the game this Sunday. I’ll be cheering on my favored team. I won’t be buying into our modern day Babylon’s attempt to make these players God though. It makes me sad that we have soldiers returning from war that they receive only a fraction of a welcome compared to this. As the Super Bowl draws near, I’m reminded to keep things in perspective while I live in a city that has come down with Super Bowl Fever.

Super Bowl- Isn't just about football

2011-01-19T10:27:00.003-06:00

Something has been heavy on my heart for months. It’s been stirring and I’m just now sitting down to write about it. I hate to be the one to burst someone’s bubble, spoil a good moment, or be a party pooper, but it’s necessary to do for this. I should warn you though. What you are about to read will change the way you look at an annual event in the US. I’m not sure where to begin, but I’ll give it my best shot.

Some look forward to the big Super Bowl game each winter because of their love of the game. Some look forward to it for the new commercials that come out and entertain them. Many, whom I just became aware were out there, flock to the game for another reason. It’s a reason that hides in the darkness and lures those with ill intentions.

The Super Bowl isn’t just a game day to many. To many who hold others captive, it’s their biggest day of business of the year. For the thousands of woman and children being held captive in the sex slavery, it’s another day of being exploited, abused, and violated.

Did you know that human sex trafficking is considered the 2nd biggest industry in the world? It comes in right behind drug trafficking. Texas is considered one of worst places for domestic and international human trafficking in the US. Since the Super Bowl 2011 is being held in Texas, the numbers of those being victimized will be outrageous.

Texas Attorney General, Greg Abbott, recently made a few statements in a recent press conference about this topic. “Abbott cited a report from a Florida task force estimating that tens of thousands of women and minors were trafficked in the Miami area during the last Super Bowl. The game is considered "one of the biggest human-trafficking events in the United States,he said.”

According to my findings, thousands of woman and children are brought to the city hosting the yearly Super Bowl event. I’ve been told that the human traffickers are going into upper class neighborhoods and renting homes for the game weekend. Unbeknownst to the homeowners, they are using these homes as brothels. In many cases, home owners that are about to be foreclosed on, are sought after to be offered money to rent their house for the weekend. These upper scale neighborhoods are the perfect cover for men to have sex with women and children being held against their will. Thousands of women are brought to the city holding the event for this purpose. Who are these people who are doing this? Who are these men paying for sex with children? It makes me sick.

Will you pray today for these women and children? Some are runaway teens. Some are kidnapped children. Some are foreigners that were tricked into captivity. Some are women who made a decision to trust the wrong person. All need our prayers. Will you pray for the men who are paying to use these women? Will you pray for the law enforcement and social services desperately trying to rescue those who are being victimized?

I had no idea that a sporting event was the biggest event for such reprehensible acts in our own backyards. I’ll be looking at the Super Bowl differently this year. I encourage you to do the same. This problem is bigger than you and me. It’s not bigger than the God who we pray to. He is the Hope for hopeless and the desolate. He is the Rescuer and Redeemer.

Soar on Wings Like Eagles

2011-01-09T19:29:00.002-06:00

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"

Isaiah 40:31

Closing out the Year 2010

2010-12-29T09:00:00.000-06:00

Once again it’s time to finish the final chapter and place the last book on the shelf on the library of 2010. What a year it has been. Every year as I look back, I’m amazed at how blessed we are, and how He cares for us in each detail of life.

2010 was a tough year. It marked a year of great loss in our family in more ways than few. With that being said, it was a good year in which we made it through those storms, grew stronger, and no doubt built character along the way.

In what is now an annual tradition, here are some random things in random order that I have learned, experienced, and seen in 2010.

-If the History Channel is one of your favorite channels on TV, you might be a nerd. If you really love the channel like I do, you are fine with that.

-You can’t figure out where you are going if you don’t know where you came from. Study the book of Daniel. That statue in it…it’s your history.

-Keeping an open mind to new things can open the door to awesome things. Two examples- Yoga and Acupuncture

-Good friends are hard to find but so worth the search once you find them.

-I couldn’t figure out what was more depressing: The fact I waved good-bye to my twenties, or that I started using night cream this year. The fact that my husband didn’t seem to mind about either made it all better.

-There is a purpose for everything that happens in life…even if we can’t see it or understand it.

-My husband is still the best decision I have ever made and the biggest blessing I’ve ever received.

-Shooting guns at targets is a whole lot of fun…just saying.

-Using “outdoor bathroom facilities” while camping in the mountains does not make me feel at one with nature. It does allow me some quality time with the hubby and a chance to experience things he is passionate about.

-A freezer full of Blue Bell Ice Cream= a happy home.

-The H’s that make me happy in life: Husband, Hammocks, Ham Loafs, Happy Birthdays, and Hobby Lobby

-My brother-in-law Alan’s BBQ is the best BBQ hands down

-I make a better First Mate than Captain of sail boats.

-Praying with even just a half ounce of faith is powerful. Faith the size of a mustard seed will move a mountain just like we are told it will.

Gracie Mae

2010-12-14T14:18:00.003-06:00

I believe the Lord has a reason and purpose for each creation and relationship in our lives. Sometimes he works miracles with His hands. Sometimes He works through His creations to do the same. My childhood dog, Bandy was the best dog a child could have. He died at 16 or 17 years old. This weekend our dog Gracie passed away as well. She was 17 years old and a sweet, sweet girl.

She proved to be a best friend to my husband long before I came along. Because she was such a good dog, it was so hard to say good-bye. I think she hung around as long as she did because she wanted to make sure my husband was going to be well taken care of. Not only did she welcome me into their lives, we even became good friends. I like to believe she passed the torch to me in taking care of him when I proved worthy in her loving eyes.

The Lord certainly used her countless times when my husband needed her. I remember during some really trying times this last year, she stuck so close to me and did her best to make me feel better. The Lord used her in many ways.

I have a sweet picture in my mind. It could be a vision or just even a longing or a hope. With the same innocence I prayed with as a child years ago, I did it again as an adult this past weekend. I don’t know if dogs go to heaven. I’m sure many could debate either side to this. I do know that if my request is granted, two of my favorites are playing up there right now. In our mourning for a dear friend, I know He is honored by us loving one of his most precious creations. Gracie Mae will be missed.

Walking Through the Fire

2010-11-01T13:12:00.001-05:00

I’m in the midst of a study of Daniel right now. I’m learning so much by taking almost each verse apart and digging deep. We finished looking at one of my favorite stories in the Bible.

The scene is set in Babylon and ruled by an egocentric king. The king builds a statue that symbolizes himself and demands his advisors, governors, etc to worship it. Three men took a stand and said no. They would not bow down to the statue and worship it. They were Godly men who knew who God was and weren’t about to turn against Him. They knew the consequences that were clearly displayed before them. They could probably feel the heat from the furnace they were about to be thrown in when they gave their answer of, “No.” Into the furnace they were thrown with their hands tied behind their backs.

Three men. The king had three men thrown into the fire. If you can handle the powerful message within one verse…get ready. Here it comes.

“Look, Nebuchadnezzar shouted. I see four men, unbound and walking around in the fire unharmed! And the forth looks like a god!” Daniel 3:25

Have you been through any fires lately? Are you going through one now? Check out Isaiah 43: 2-3. Notice we are told “When” we go through trials (not “if”) He will be with us. When the King Nebuchadnezzar saw the forth man walking in the fire, even he saw it was Him! The Lord brought the men through the fire and the only thing burned were their ropes that tied their hands together. Not only did He save them, He took away their bondage.

Going through a recent difficult time, I imagined God sitting up on high and looking down at me. I mean in the way of a Father lovingly looking down at His child. I did feel He was allowing me to go through the season for a reason, and I was accepting that. However, this old story that I’d first heard as a child suddenly had new meaning. Why would the creator of the universe come down from the glory of Heaven to walk through a fire with me? Because He said He will..every time.. and He never lies.

Powerful.

Where's Waldo?

2010-10-31T18:52:00.003-05:00

We dressed up this year as Where’s Waldo and his friend Wenda. It was an easy costume to make. We didn’t have shirts with red and white stripes. That was an easy fix…just bought a couple rolls of red electrical tape and put them our clothes. It didn’t ruin the clothing like duct tape may have. We rolled a small ball of paper up in some red felt and pinned it to white stocking hats I bought for a few bucks at a discount store. My glasses came from the dollar store. It was from a Groucho Marx mask that we took a part. His glasses were something we already had. There ya go…a couple’s DIY costume!

Broken Glass

2010-09-13T18:06:00.002-05:00

Today I was grabbing something out of the cupboard and knocked a glass jar of pasta sauce on the floor. Glass objects and our concrete kitchen floor do not make a good combination. Sauce and glass went all over the place. There must have been a thousand shards of broken glass on the floor. In an instant, the place where I was walking barefoot so carelessly just an hour before was now a danger zone.

It took about 20 minutes to clean up the mess. By the time I was done, the sauce that had splattered on my feet had dried. I grabbed a paper towel, dabbed it in some water and blotted the sauce. It was stuck on my skin. I then did what only made sense at the time. I added some elbow grease and started scrubbing vigorously to get the sauce off. I was in a hurry and needed to get cleaned up fast. Pain radiated all over my foot. “Ouch. I must have rubbed a nerve or something,” I thought to myself. Five minutes later, my foot still hurt and when I looked down at it, blood was everywhere.

Apparently I had broken glass on my foot and had pushed it into my foot while scrubbing. It hurt. Thankfully, it’s not too bad and I won’t need stitches or any medical attention. My pride is probably more wounded than anything. I felt pretty stupid for not being more careful. How did I manage to make a bad situation worse, or yet even painful?!

As I cleaned the broken glass and red sauce from the floor, I couldn’t get over what a mess I had on my hands. I realized that no matter how good I cleaned, I would no doubt miss a piece here or there. I’m sure I’ll be finding missed pieces for a while. It wasn’t the easiest mess to clean up. I found myself thinking about what a mess we are at times, and how the Lord manages to clean up our mess. This is all if we allow Him to. He can pick up the pieces and put things back together in a way that is sometimes better than it was before. Again, if we allow Him to. He doesn’t miss any pieces and doesn’t throw the broken mess in the garbage either. If and only if we allow Him to. Oh, the pain we would avoid if we trusted Him and let Him do the work. What brokeness could you hand over to Him to fix? What mess is in front of you that you could use His help? Allow Him to help. He wants to lend a hand.

Canning

2010-09-06T21:06:00.002-05:00

My family is going through the difficult job of sorting through my Grandmother’s belongings. Unfortunately, they are doing all the work since I am not nearby to help. While visiting back home, I spent a couple hours helping in the effort of going through things. Grandma had a house full of things, most of which each hold a memory or two.

In an almost hidden storage place in the basement, we found what seemed to be a storehouse of mason jars for canning food. It instantly brought back memories of my grandmothers on both sides canning when I was a little girl.

Canning is something I have never attempted on my own. I’ll be honest, I was a little intimidated by it for some reason. However, I decided today that I would try following in the footsteps of my Grandmothers’ legacy.

Here is the result of my first attempt. I canned carrots, green beans, and homemade applesauce. I also cooked a big pot of corn on the cob. I shaved it off with an electric knife, and put it in freezer bags in the freezer. I have to admit, it was easier than I was expected. In fact, I found it enjoyable and almost therapeutic. Has that feeling been passed down from generations of canning women in my family? Maybe!

Sometimes you try new things and it doesn’t go so well. This time, it did. I’m already thinking of other foods to try next time. What’s something you have been thinking about trying but are a little timid? Give it a shot. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised!

Smelling the Roses

2010-08-28T14:49:00.002-05:00

“Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived.” -Helen Keller

It’s funny how certain smells bring back memories. Not long ago, I took a trip back home. As I was walking into my childhood church again, the aroma of a certain pesky weed reached my nose. That smell brought back a memory from my childhood.

I was probably only six or seven years old when my Dad told me that he would hire me to do a job. He told me to go out to our gravel driveway and pull weeds. For every weed I picked he would give me a penny. I was so excited. I thought I’d hit the jackpot and would be rich in no time. I ran out and started pulling weeds as fast as I could. After pulling about twenty or so, I realized it wasn’t the dream job I thought it was going to be. I had only become 20 cents richer and was starting to get tired. I even felt a little ripped off. Some of the weeds took quite the effort to pull up. I hadn’t thought about this memory for years until the smell a few months ago brought it flooding back.

The smell of gasoline reminds me of boating in the summer with my family. The smell of rubbing alcohol reminds me of my many childhood trips to the hospital. The smell of fresh tar on the road reminds me of riding bikes around town with my childhood best friend. Each of the perfumes of my past have a season of life memory themselves. Then there is the smell of wood burning reminds me of the heating systems used in the villages in Romania. The smell of a city dump reminds me of the precious children I love who live in the trash in Kenya.

I guess our life story could be told in the form of a timeline of smells. Out of all of them, the two I like the best is my husband’s cologne (whichever one he is wearing at the time) and the smell of our house after a long trip away. They both bring me comfort and serenity.

I think sense of smell is a gift. It helps us remember things we would have long forgotten at times. It brings us comfort and reminds us of seasons gone by. In Proverbs, we are told to take time to smell the roses. This piece of wisdom means to go through life slow enough you savor each moment and enjoy what is going on around you.

The moon was so beautiful the other night. We saw it on a drive home, and I realized how many times we shuffle by such beautiful scenes and don’t even notice them. No, it didn’t have a scent that will trigger my memory of it years from now. It did give me a peaceful feeling though. For a minute, I stopped and smelled the roses in that moment and was left with the sweetness of the moment and a grateful heart.

What I am up to....

2010-07-31T08:12:00.003-05:00

I've been so busy lately getting ready for a big event. I coordinate Angels from Abroad with Buckner International.

Check out my blog there the next few weeks as we work to give 17 Russian Orphans a vacation experience of a lifetime.

http://www.angelsfromabroad.org/

Curve Ball

2010-07-02T14:42:00.006-05:00

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

Sometimes life throws a curve ball at you. I guess one of a few things happens when it does. You either catch it, duck, or it hits you. Sometimes you just can’t avoid getting hit. As most of you know, when you do get hit, it hurts.

My husband reminded me recently of a scar that is on my knee. It is from a wound that is deep not only physically but emotionally as well. He reminded me that although it took time, the wound there healed and didn’t hurt like it did once before. The scar however, will be there the rest of my life. I think the same thing happens when one of those curve balls hits us. It hurts terribly and eventually heals, but always leaves a mark.

I recently got hit harder than I ever have before. I’m still recovering. I know the Lord allows trouble and pain in our lives only if there is a way He plans to use it for His Purpose and Glory. I am thankful for the comfort and peace from above that He is in control and has a plan. Although there is no guarantee the sting from the hits are not going hurt in this world, the scripture above gives me hope. I’m still on the team that wins in the end.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve send how God works far ahead of that curve ball’s path. He knows what we will need before we actually need it. He provides.

-Our Pastor just finished a series on how the Lord doesn’t cause the lemons in our lives to be. He does however take the lemons life gives us and turns them to lemonade. If, and that is a big “IF,” we allow Him to. I had no idea that during the weeks of listening to these messages, the Lord was preparing me for what was just ahead.

-Once a friend told me “Heaven gets sweeter as we age.” I didn’t completely understand that at first. The more loved ones I let go and know are with Jesus, the more I understand her words. He is holding so many I will joyfully be reunited with one day. The last couple weeks, the words in that statement came alive to me.

-“Sadness is better than laughter, for sorrow has great influence over us.”- Ecclesiastes 7:4 I once heard someone interpret this as “The tears we cry in the midst of our pain, God uses—much like water softens hardened ground—to tenderize our hearts.”–Scott Hasenbalg. I wrote this quote down years ago not knowing why. I hit the save button and randomly ran across it just at the right time a few days ago.

-A little over a year ago, I said “I Do” to an amazing man. This man not only shares the pain I go through, but gives me strength and joy in the midst of a hard time. He is a gift. I can’t imagine going through the joy and pain in life without him.

As I pray to see lemonade though it may seem impossible, I realize I pray to the One who makes the impossible possible. I am renewed by His Power, Grace, Hope, Love, and Healing. I take heart, He has overcome the world.

A Honk, The Bird, and A Miracle

2010-06-15T09:01:00.001-05:00

Recently we were sitting in a long line of cars at a stop light. There was a break in the line where people were letting cars cross to make a left turn at the road median. When the driver crossed the line, they either had to be quick and/or brave that there weren’t any cars coming that they couldn’t see. We were sitting in the best seats in the house to witness what was about to happen.

Two cars crossed the line without any trouble. Then a truck with two men crossed. They crossed our lane and the one next to us. However, there was a car driving up the third lane when he was trying to cross it. The car honked at the truck. I don’t think it was a honk to be rude, but rather to just warn the truck they were coming. The truck inched forward and then stopped. No, there was no crash. What happened next was the truck driver got out of his car and walked back to the driver that honked at him. He was yelling. No, it was more like screaming at the man for honking at him.

Next he got back in his truck and pretty much spun out and drove right into a parking lot near by. Good…he's going there to cool off, we thought. Then we saw the car with the driver that honked, follow him into the parking lot. The fight was on.

The car then pulled up next to the truck and we saw an ever so gracious hand (or shall I say finger) gesture from the car driver out his window towards the men in the truck. The men in the truck both opened their doors and started to jump out of the truck. The car sped off and the guys jumped back into the truck and slammed the truck into gear. This is where the Lord intervened!

When the truck driver was about to chase after the man who flipped them off, the truck jerked and something fell out of the bottom of the truck! The truck didn’t move and we could see something hanging down. It broke down. In fact, on our way home, the truck was still sitting in that parking lot a few hours later.

All this being said, I think something very bad was avoided. What are the chances that the guy’s truck would break down right at that moment?! He was such an angry man. It was clear the Lord stopped him in his tracks before he could do something dangerous.

We went on our way, but this whole scene has stayed with me for days. I just love how the Lord steps in and saves us even when we don’t know we need to be saved! Hopefully the truck driver learned his lesson. I prayed that he did.

In the Arms of Love

2010-06-02T10:48:00.000-05:00

“I’m found in the arms of Love.
For Your Love
It has saved my soul
I’ll run to your arms of love
Your Light’s gonna lead me home.”

-Lyrics to“King of All Days” by Hillsong

We sang this song Sunday at church. When I was singing the words, I couldn’t help but flash back to the times I have literally felt wrapped in the arms of Love. What a great feeling that is!

Often we are asked the question, “Where do you see yourself in __ years?” If you know and accept the Love of Christ, I know where you will be found. You’ll be found in the arms of Love. It’s a pretty good place to be…actually the best place to be.

We may not know what we will be doing in the next 5 years. Some of us don’t know what we will be doing in the next 10 minutes. However, if we are walking with Him, we will always know where we can be found. It’s in His arms…if we will have Him.

With a Thankful Heart I Write

2010-04-30T12:33:00.001-05:00

Today I am reminded of how God answers our prayers. Years ago I started praying for someone very hungry and confused on their journey to Him. It was a person who had it all figured out in life. They were confronted with a void in life that they were trying to fill, but had a wall that was blocking the view to seeing who He was, is, and will always be. “I think I struggle with my faith because I don’t really believe there is a God.” Words once spoken by a conflicted heart. Words that pierced mine when heard. I thought this person was struggling with the concept of salvation. I didn’t realize they even doubted God’s existence.

You can’t force someone to believe. It is in their own time. Faith is an individual thing…a choice. I gave as much advice as I could at the time. Although I realize now nothing I could have said was as powerful as silent prayers spoken by my pleading heart for them.

Now, years later, I see those prayers were answered. I give thanks. This person is living a life and walking with the One they once doubted existed. I give thanks. It may have taken longer than I had hoped, but it happened. I give thanks.

For all those who have an unbeliever you have been praying for, be encouraged. Trust me, your prayers are being heard.

Tool Time

2010-04-23T10:29:00.004-05:00

I’ve seen this game around and thought it would be fun to have. However, I figured it could be made cheaper than I could buy it. (I’m going through a bargain minded season in life.) I researched it and found what I needed to get it made and realized we have a ton of old golf balls in the attic. I mentioned it to my husband and said we should make one of these. By “we” of course I meant “him.”

My husband responded by saying “Go ahead, make one.” He then explained he thought I should make one by myself. He would set the tools out for me, but I needed to do it all by myself. So….I did! I used the saw, drill, etc. I even picked out all the supplies I needed at Home Depot by myself. I made the game for a fraction of what it would have cost in the store. Who says girls can’t use all the tools in the garage??

Line Between the Two

2010-04-14T11:24:00.002-05:00

There is a song by Mark Harris called, “The Line Between the Two.” Since the first time I heard it years ago, it has stayed with me. The title refers to the line in between two dates. They aren’t just any dates though, they are the dates on a head stone. You know that little dash line in between the date you are born and the date you leave this world? That’s the line. That line represents what our life was about, what we did while we were here, and our legacy we leave behind. It’s a little line but has huge meaning, and it’s where you and I are right now. It’s the reason why we were put here and the reason why we will wake up tomorrow. It maybe small, but it’s mighty.

C. S. Lewis once said “The future is something in which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes per hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."

We all face the future at the same rate. We all will one day have a line between the two. What will your line represent? What purpose does the Lord have for your line? How do we make the most of the line we are given? Those are questions I don’t have clear answers for. Thankfully, I know the One who does.

I [the Lord] will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

Happy Easter

2010-04-02T09:06:00.003-05:00

Happy Easter Everyone!

1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead... (NIV)

Sometimes I Wish I Could Walk On Water....

2010-03-24T15:05:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I wish I could walk on water…. If I could, then maybe I would have the power to heal a hurting heart. Maybe then I would have arms big enough to hold anyone who needed to be wrapped tightly. Maybe then I could cast away a lingering dark cloud with the wave of a hand. The truth is, the last time I stepped into the ocean, my foot went straight to the bottom and hit the sand. It seems I am not meant to fix it all, although I wish I could.

Two weeks ago, my father-in-law passed away. It was very unexpected and shook the world around us. Phil was in another part of the world, but felt the shake as he heard the news by phone so far away. I wanted to change so much. I wanted to change the outcome of that Friday afternoon. If I had, my father-in-law would still be sitting in his favorite chair in the living room and answering, “I’m still upright” when asked how he is doing today. As I watched, almost in slow motion, the tears drop from my mother-in-law’s face and hit the sleeve of my shirt, I painfully realized something. There was not one thing I could say to stop her heart from hurting in that moment. I hated the helpless feeling I had right then. I wanted to fly through the air and be with my husband and cry with him while he sat in an airport alone with this news. Once he was home, I wanted to change the fact that my arms felt so small. When I’m sad, he has a way of holding me to where I am totally supported to just let go. I’m not big enough to return the favor. I try, but it’s not the same, I’m sure. I longed to fix the pain he was going through, but couldn’t.

I may not be able to walk on water, but another powerful place to be is on your knees….in prayer. That is where I went. Through it all, I saw Him work. I heard Him speak, and I felt Him near. Although I still don’t understand God’s timing of it all, I don’t question His plan. We know Brink is there with Him, and it was his time to go home.

As life goes on after what was a difficult couple weeks, things are different. One thing stays the same though. God is good. No, I may not be able to walk on water, or at least I haven’t been able to yet. I know someone else who can though. Miraculously I have seen Him work. The hurting hearts still hurt, but laugher and smiles are on the faces that were once soaked with tears. My arms haven’t gotten bigger, but my heart did. Just when you think you couldn’t love someone anymore, you heart grows even bigger for them in the midst of their pain. The sun shines again, and that dark cloud that wasn’t mine to take care of is under the control of Someone much greater than me. God is good.

1 Peter

2010-03-09T19:27:00.002-06:00

I am studying 1 Peter with a group of women from my church right now. Here are a couple verses that really stood out to me.

1 Peter 2:2-3
“Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, 3 now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.”

What a great visual! Do you cry out for Him like a baby cries out for milk?

1 Peter 3:10-12
“For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”

How often do we pray with a longing for happiness. Does the Bible not clearly give us instructions on how to obtain happy days? Yet, we go searching for happiness in other ways.

Yo-Yo Emotions

2010-03-04T07:49:00.004-06:00

Recent things on my mind and my reactions to them:

The other day I heard someone’s cell phone alert them. It was the same setting I had on my old phone back when I was dating my husband. I heard the sound and my stomach suddenly did a flip like when I would get a love note text from him when dating- *Smile* The realization I’m not so different from Pavlov’s dog- *Frown*

Shaun White’s record breaking run on the halfpipe- *Smile* Shaun White doing the air guitar to the National Anthem on the Olympic podium- *Frown*

My favorite show “LOST” is in a new season- *Smile* This is the final season for my favorite show “LOST.”- *Frown*

US Olympic Ski team’s medal winning performances- *Smile* Visions of the man I accidently stabbed in the stomach with my ski pole during my first ski experience- *Frown*

The sound of flatulence during my yoga class- *Frown* The feeling of thankfulness that it wasn’t me- *Smile*

Olympic figure skating- *Smile* Men’s figure skating pants- *Frown*

Signs that summer is on its way and warmer weather is near- *Smile* Signs at the department store that bathing suit season is near- *Frown*

Smoked Barbeque Ribs- *Smile* Our President smoking in the White House- *Frown*

The 1980’s McDonalds commercial where Ronald McDonald helps a little boy ice skate- *Smile* Freakish looking clowns in general- *Frown*

Where Do You Dump Your Stuff?

2010-02-28T19:44:00.001-06:00

I am far from perfect. (Big surprise.) I, like the next person, am what we call “a work in progress.” I have just as many faults as the next person, I suppose. With that being said, I don’t feel bad to say I am not a messy person. Generally speaking, I feel at best when things are in order and clean. When my house is clean, I feel like there is peace, harmony, and good in the world. There is however an exception to this statement. My dining room table. When I get home from wherever I have been, it’s where everything gets dumped. I’m not the only one in the house that does it. Not sure if I projected this habit on my husband or maybe he has always suffered from it too. Doesn’t matter, the fact is the table is messy. It has mail, receipts, my purse, keys, papers, junk, and anything else that gets dumped there each day. It’s a convenient place to dump all that is weighing my arms down when I walk in the door. It’s the first thing I do when I walk in. I don’t think twice about it, and I walk away with a sense of relief by getting rid of what was weighing me down. By the time cleaning day comes in the week or company is coming over, it’s the place I dread cleaning the most. It takes the longest to get orderly. If I would just put things in their place each time, I would avoid that headache.

Why are we so quick to dump our heavy load on places like the kitchen table, but are hesitant to give God the things that are weighing us down in the important areas of life? "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)

He tells us to come to him with our troubles and allows us to unload our baggage at the foot of the cross. What an amazing gift to each one of us! Yet, each day we pass it up. We continue to carry it around ourselves. Maybe we give him some, but we can’t let go of the grip we have on the really heavy stuff. We long for that sense of relief from getting it off our shoulders, but we refuse to let it go completely. We end up with a mess to clean up in the end, but one that could have been avoided if we had placed our anxiety and concerns where they would be safe…with Him. We walk around with junk strapped to our backs, but have a Father who stands one step beside us with open arms to take it off.

What junk have you been walking around with lately? Consider handing it over to the one who can take it from you, clean things up, and replace it with a sense of peace, harmony, and relief.

Some Things Transcend Borders...Others Don't

2010-02-23T08:00:00.003-06:00

Some things transcend cultural borders. For example, the sign for choking is universal. It’s a good thing. On the other hand some things that we do in our own culture are not such a good thing in another culture. Here are some observations I’ve made while traveling internationally AND domestically.

A toothpick is a toothpick no matter where you are. It’s one of those simple things in life where “If it isn’t broke…don’t fix it” A toothpick in one country is going to be the same somewhere else..that you can count on. Toilets on the other hand are not as simple. A luxury in one country might be a shelter with a hole in the ground while heated and cushioned seats in another are considered nice. What I’m trying to say is “Nice Toilets” are relative.

Success is relative too. What is successful in one country may be different in the next. For an orphan, working a low paying job but staying out of a life of prostitution may be a lifelong dream. Let’s not negate the work the Lord puts into keeping these children from that world by saying if they don’t attend college..they aren’t successful. For some, this accomplishment is a miracle. Success is living in the Lord’s will. Period..whatever that may be.

5 people with 8 cell phones (in any country) = interesting lunch meeting.

Americans don’t know the best way to do everything...sometimes (generally speaking) we just act like we do. Realizing “different” doesn’t equal wrong is a necessity of understanding other cultures. If you master it, you actually learn a lot. This must be done by eating a slice of humble pie daily. A slice a day will keep an overactive ego away.

What is cool in one country can be rude in another. For example, talking to someone with your sunglasses on may be common in one place. In another you may be offending those you care about. In other places it is strictly for protection of the eyes due to UV damage. In case you didn’t know…..Sunglasses can be controversial.

“Speed Limits” are relative. In some countries they are merely suggestions. In others, they are followed strictly. It has nothing to do with safety but only about how likely you are to get caught while breaking the law.

A Smile is a smile anywhere. It means the same in all countries and is contagious in all places. This is always true unless you are standing in line at the DMV in the US. If you are smiling you are obviously oblivious to your location, or I’m pretty sure you missed the sign that said “No smiling allowed.”

While on a recent road trip, I stopped at a McDonalds to get a drink and to use the restroom. A woman followed me in the restroom to try and sell me homemade bracelets. Apparently in Louisiana, the McDonald’s restroom is a hot spot for marketing crafts.

Not all cultures find it necessary to provide hand towels in the hotel. If you want to dry your hands, do it on toilet paper or wipe them on the towel you used to dry off after a shower that morning.

The phrase “It’s just spitting out” when referring to a light sprinkle of rain is not to be used in Texas. People will think you are crazy. If you say this and dare to do something like put ketchup on a hot dog, then they will really think you are nuts.

In Kenya if someone is raising their eyebrows at you repeatedly, it doesn’t mean they are hitting on you. It’s their way of saying “Yes” to whatever you are talking about. It’s pretty funny when you spend a couple weeks there without this knowledge.

Knowing the language of the place you are in is very important. Saying “I love you” instead of “Jesus loves you” to random homeless people can give the WRONG impression. One little word can make a big difference in a sentence. It’s fine though if you want that person to follow you around while thinking you are in love with them.

Having the toilet 3 steps away from the bed in a hotel room is normally not a desirable thing. If you have food poisoning and need the toilet to be as close as possible to where you are laying….its a VERY good thing.

Good Food is all about what you are used to. Raw meat in one culture is normal. It is unheard of in other cultures. So, what is cooked throughally in one home may equal “didn’t even touch the grill” in another. My advice…stick to the bread on the table. You never go wrong with the bread, and it’s usually always good across the board.

Air travel makes people do weird things. If you want to find me on a plane, I am almost always the one sitting behind the person doing those weird things. If you want to find me in a line at any given airport, I will be standing behind those people in the line too. This is true for domestic and international travel. My magnetism towards this kind has no boundaries.

Why?

2010-02-19T08:00:00.002-06:00

If we had to trace it back, it all started with that first bite, I suppose. What makes me angry now is a result of the first bite of the forbidden fruit. It answers my questions of “Why. Why, oh Lord must this be?” We live in a fallen world and are living in a place of sin. That’s why. As I watch an 18 year old girl hold herself tight and rock back and forth, I swallow the lump in my throat and resist the selfish urge to close my eyes and pretend I don’t see it. As she rocks back and forth in rhythm, “Why…Why…Why repeats in my head with her every beat.

Within her eyes sits that blank stare that haunts me as I write. It’s the ”institutional daze” that I shutter to observe. I hate it. I hate what, God only knows, has happened to her. I look around me. In a cold orphanage, a broken window lets in winter air to the room that is close to zero degrees. No heat in this room. She has no coat.

As I travel back in time it seems to streets with horse drawn buggies and buckets hanging from water wells, I do see improvements. However, too many children are still left in the cracks. Why is this girl here? Is it because of her Gypsy race? Has she been so badly abused that she has crawled into an emotional shell and can’t come out to function properly? Has she been abandoned by everyone she knows? What will happen to her? What will happen to the young little girl on the other side of the room? She is smiling and dancing. What a contrast she is to the girl rocking back and forth. She is the only one in the room with a sparkle in her eye. As I look around at the other girls, that sparkle is missing. When did they lose it? How many days does this little girl have left for her sparkle to shine? At what point does the sparkle get robbed from them? Will she be rocking back and forth, like the older girl in the room, next year at this time?

As I emotionally recover from what was a great trip, I can’t help but be left with some harsh imprints on my heart and in my mind. These kids aren’t just a statistic. They are children. From five years ago, I can see large steps have been taken forward. Overall, things are definitely better. However, for the ones that haven’t seen improvement, my heart aches and wonders how long they will be left sinking in the cracks of the system. They have been robbed. The enemy has indeed robbed them, but it’s easy to put all the blame on him. What about us? Do we sit silently knowing they are out there and do nothing? Aren’t we to blame for some of this suffering? No, maybe we didn’t cause it but we certainly have turned the other way when confronted with the need and ways to help. We all have. Maybe we aren’t so far removed from that first bite of fruit long ago.

Please pray today for the children suffering in Romania. Start there and then move to a prayer on ways you can help. He will lead you in what direction He wants you to go. He is waiting for you to ask.

Hope for Change

2010-02-17T14:45:00.004-06:00

As I roamed the streets of where it all began, I was reminded how my journey led me here. Where I am today is a result of what the Lord did in my life in a place called Romania. It still amazes me how He works, how He plans it all, and how He uses our whole lives to take us to wherever we are today.

I took joy in seeing the improvements in the lives of so many orphan children here. The country has come so far in 20 years. In many ways it is a miracle. It isn’t perfect just as no place truly is. 3 steps forward at times result in one step back. I saw improvement were that the government seems to understand the value of preserving families. They understand that institutionalizing children is not the solution to the orphan epidemic. They understand measures need to be taken to build families up and to break the cycle of abandonment from the beginning. How to do that is the million dollar question. It isn’t easy.

Still in the midst of trying to figure it all out. Children are left in limbo. They aren’t considered young enough to be labeled as undamaged and aren’t old enough to have learned enough lessons to be equipped with making wise decisions and lead productive lives on their own. And so…the cycle continues for them. No jobs, no money, no education, no family, where is their hope? Many don’t know the true Author and Perfector of hope. They live in a world that most would consider hell on earth. They don’t live…they exist. This is the story of so many orphan children. Then of course there are the success stories. The ones we have reached. They are the ones that were saved by the prayers of people they may never meet. Seeing the look in their eyes reminds us that yes, there IS good in the world.

It’s been two and a half years since I had been in Romania. It was way too long. This place will always hold a special place in my heart. I doubt that will ever change. The people, the language, the countryside, the culture, the history, the way the Lord has a way of showing Himself to me there, I truly love this place and am so thankful I was able to go back. However, just as each time before when the airplane lifted off the runway from this place called Romania, my heart silently cried out for the abused, abandoned, and suffering children I leave behind there.

I think of the children I saw in one orphanage that were clearly abused in more ways than I can imagine. I think of the Gypsy boys on the street that smelled as if they hadn’t been bathed in months. I think of the young children that begged me for food while I ate KFC and drank a cold Pepsi one day. I think of the young girls in a transitional home that are clawing their way out of a messed up cycle and a past they try desperately to overcome. I think of an orphan that was told her whole life she would never amount to anything and who says she just can’t seem to say the words “I love you” to others for reasons she doesn’t quite understand. I think of the blank institutionalized stares of the abandoned’s eyes that often haunt me in the darkness and silence of the night. As I whimpered through my prayers each night for those kids, I heard a quiet and still voice saying “I am in control.” I know it’s Him and I know He is calling us to go minister to others for Him. That is my hope for change.

Romania

2010-01-29T07:50:00.000-06:00

Very soon I will go back to where it all started. It’s hard to believe that a little more than five years ago, I embarked on a journey that would dramatically change my life and the world as I knew it. It was here I experienced Christ in a way I hadn’t ever before. It was here the Lord met me where I was and gave me a second touch as if I were that blind man from Bethesda. It was here that I learned that loving the “least of these” will change your life forever. Now I go back to where it started. I go back to Romania.

I remember packing my bags to come home after my first trip had come to an end. I was in the hotel and couldn’t seem to get my things into the bag. After a long effort in silence that had resulted in nothing being put in the bag, I spoke. “If I am supposed to go back home, way does it feel so wrong to leave?” I knew I would be back one day. That was true. In fact, I went back twice more the two years following that trip. I haven’t been there since 2007. It seems like a lifetime.

Although my trip isn’t a mission trip to work in the orphanages, I’m still excited to be going. I’m accompanying my husband on business this time around. However, I hope to see many in Romania that I have come to love and pray for over the years. I can’t wait! Please keep us in prayer as we travel abroad. We will take your love for the children of Romania with us and give thanks for you coming along for the ride in our travels.

Haiti

2010-01-14T08:09:00.005-06:00

There is a picture stuck in my mind of a woman in pain. She sits on the pavement next to a dead body of someone she loves so dearly. The sound pouring from deep within her is a moan of absolute sadness and mourning. She sits next to the body on a sidewalk as people walk by. She rocks back and forth and wails with sorrow and pain. Bodies line the streets. Homeless children wander for someone to tend to their bloody wounds. The images are heartbreaking. These are just some of thousands facing the tragedy of the earthquake in Haiti.

The Haitian people need our prayers. Please pray for my friend Larry (pictured above) who has invested his heart in Haiti. He will make his way there this weekend. He goes looking for his friends who have become like family to him. He goes to check on his children in the orphanage. He goes to find people who need medical attention. He goes to be the hands and feet of Christ.

Prayer is a powerful thing and the very thing they all need. Please lift Larry and the people of Haiti up in your prayers today. The need is great, but our God is greater.

James

2010-01-14T08:00:00.001-06:00

I’m a part of a women’s study group that meets each week. Next week we are looking at the book of James. A new member of our group whispered to me, at the announcement of what we will study next, and said “I’ve never read James..have you?” I told her that I had and the cool thing about it was that even if you have read it many times, you still learn something new when you read it again.

Since James is pretty short, I decided I would make it a goal to read it every day for a week. I tend to remember things more if I read something more than once. Plus, I was recently challenged to do more memorization of God’s Word to invest in my spiritual life. It’s full of golden nuggets and words that permeate the heart and soul. Once again I have gained new insight on these same words I have read many times before.

I had lunch with a new friend recently and she told me of a family she and her husband had shown Christ’s love to. At the time, she was only a few weeks from giving birth to their first child. A family of four in their church was in need. They were going through some financial hardships and seemed to need a helping hand. Even though she was just weeks away from giving birth, they offered for this family of four to move into their home and live with them until they could get back on their feet. The family ended up staying much longer than expected and not being the most gracious guests to say the least. I was touched by her generosity of showing Christ’s love. As I did my reading of James later that day, I thought of her when coming across this verse.

Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith: others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith, by my good deeds.” James 3:18

I challenge you to read James everyday for a week and reflect on the message the Lord speaks to your heart.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-30T16:27:00.001-06:00

As my mind’s eye scans the shelf labeled 2009 in my head and heart, I see it is full. It seems just like yesterday I needed book ends to hold the titles up from falling over in the shelf. That was about January of this year or so. Now they are packed in so tight, I am having to give them a shove to fit on the shelf. My wedding album is there, it’s one of my favorites. One book is there that is labeled “New Experiences.” It’s probably the biggest one on the shelf. Some of are hiking, kayaking, camping, and travel. Some are of gushy love stuff that newlyweds are known for. Some are of challenges and some are of trials. All are of blessings and covered with God’s love and work.

Last year I shared with you that Phil and I often ask each other “How did we get here” in an awe like tone of how the Lord has worked in our lives. I still think He does it one day at a time. Yet again, in those one day at a time moments this year, I have laughed, cried, learned, and walked away with a cup overflowing more than ever before.

Here are some random things (in random order) that I learned in those one day at a time moments this year:

-If you don’t unpack all boxes after a move, certain things will be lost forever…the boxes will eat them
-Kayaking at sunset reminds you God is near
-There is a society for everything…even Dutch Ovens
-“I do.”- Best words I’ve ever spoken and best words ever said to me
-Love can make you do crazy things…like caving through tiny holes while claustrophobia is knocking at your door
-A fork can be used as a hair comb in a pinch
-Being far away from things in life makes you realize how much you love them…like my family and Whitey’s Ice Cream
-An infant’s coffin is one of the hardest things to see in life
-A couple’s massage on the beach at sunset in St. Lucia is hard to beat
-Hearing the Lord takes practice
-Covering your mouth when you sneeze and washing your hands is important…our president says so
-My husband is the best husband in the world
-Standing up for what is right is the right thing to do
-Date nights are the best nights
-Seeing the same children in an orphanage year after year is a harsh picture of an unjust world
-If gourmet dog treats that look like chocolate chip cookies and are sitting next to cookies for people...they WILL get eaten...by people.
-520 spiral staircase steps are a reminder of how young you aren’t anymore
-Name changes, DMVs, and registration lines are what sit-coms where created from
-There are some things in life I will never understand the purpose of…like Beef Jerky
-Risk taking for the Lord is worth it…Even if you are still waiting to see what His plan is
-Time in prayer is never wasted time

Can it actually be that it is time to move to a new shelf and a new year? So much has happened. I gaze at the space on the shelf for 2010. It’s empty. The potential that hovers around it is immense. I think I know of a few books that may fill up the spot, but I’m not totally sure. The pages of those books have yet to be written and the endings are still up in the air. Ready or not…on to a new year, new books, new memories, same promise….

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." – Jeremiah 29:11-13

Happy New Year!

Emanuel

2009-12-24T10:24:00.002-06:00

I’ve often wondered what holiday celebrations might be like in Heaven. I’m guessing they don’t single out one day for a holiday. In fact, the concept of a day in time is probably non-existent. I’m sure every day is a day of celebration as if it were the best day ever. About one week ago, my dear Grandmother entered into the gates of finding that out. Although we mourn the loss of her sweet spirit, we rejoice that this Christmas she will be in the midst of royalty….she is celebrating with the King and singing with angels. How hard it is to say goodbye, but so sweet is the comfort in knowing where she is. God is good.

It seems like yesterday I was waking up with my sister before the crack of dawn to check if Santa ate the cookies and left us goodies under the tree. In an instant or even a blink of an eye, it seems, we grew up. Not sure where the time went, but I’m glad it got me here to where I am.

As we prepare for Christmas Eve celebrations and Christmas day festivities, I reflect on the many blessings I have been given. I give thanks for life. I give thanks for the 89 years of my Grandmother’s life that left a legacy that will be handed down from generation to generation. I give thanks for the life the Lord has given me. I give thanks for the life of the baby He sent to us on Christmas morning in a stable in Bethlehem. Emanuel…God with us...from the beginning, to today, and forevermore. Emanuel…God with us.

Merry Christmas!

Random God Sighting

2009-12-14T09:34:00.003-06:00

As I was walking out of a public building, I saw a man on the other side of the glass door I was about to exit through. He was elderly and hunched over as he walked. I could tell with each step he took, pain was consuming his body.

He looked up and we made eye contact. I saw him pick up his pace a bit with one last step and he hurried to open the door….for me. His arm shook as he pulled open the heavy door. I resisted the urge to beat him to the door and insist I held it for him. I could see he really wanted to open the door for me and show a young lady respect by this gesture. I let him. I smiled and walked through the door and thanked him. His arms were shaking as he held the door with all his might. He smiled back.

A light was shining within Him. I’ve seen that light before…it’s the light of Jesus. What about you, have you seen Him lately? I bet if you look, you will find Him.

Oh Christmas Tree

2009-12-07T09:30:00.003-06:00

Phil and I ventured out and bought our first Christmas tree. This is our first Christmas as a married couple. We shopped around and found a tree that looked like it would do. It’s not an ordinary tree, or at least not anymore. This tree, you see, is our international tree. The ornaments are those in which we have purchased in other countries. There are a few exceptions. The ball ornaments are from Wal-Mart because we don’t have enough international ornaments yet to fill the entire tree. The angel on top, although no doubt made in a foreign country, was purchased here in the US as well. She was a gift from my grandmother and is what she would describe as an irresistible Cracker Barrel purchase.

I put Christmas music on and we went to work getting the tree up. Phil did great at rigging up the lights and eventually, we got to the best part- the ornaments. I love the tree. As I look at the ornaments, I see the faces of those loved ones overseas that have made a difference in our lives. Some of the ornaments Phil and I bought together. Some are ones we bought separately before we even met. One was commissioned by us and carved by a beach living Rastafarian in St. Lucia on our honeymoon. His name was Chris. Would you believe, I still think of and pray for him every so often? One is from Romania, where my heart was broken, pieced together, and changed forever. One is from Russia, a country I have never been to, but has a special place in the heart of my husband. Each one represents so much in our lives.

I like that there is room on the tree to grow and more memories to be made. More countries to visit and more lives to be a part of…Lord willing. Then again who knows, maybe we won’t be able to add any more to the tree. If not, I will still enjoy it and the memories it holds. I have a nativity scene from Kenya in our living room. I remember it took about an hour of on and off bargaining with the shop owner to get him down to a realistic price. He called me “Mama.” I remember him too. I wonder what he is doing this day or even this Christmas.

Christmas has always been hard for me since my first mission trip in 2005. It’s hard to explain. I love Christmas. I love Christmas music. I love the act of giving gifts to those I love and even those I don’t know. I love celebrating the miracle of Christ’s birth. However, there is always a sadness that lurks within. I think of all the little ones I have met along the way. What will they be doing on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning? Will they feel alone? What if the Lord has a child selected for us to adopt one day? Is that child out there somewhere now, and will that precious child sit alone wondering where we are this Christmas? Oh my, that hurts to think about.

On a lighter note, I give thanks and praise to the One above who has blessed me so. I am blessed beyond what I deserve and give thanks to Him. I’m excited to celebrate my first Christmas as “Mrs.” I’m excited to sit by the fire and cuddle with my husband when it is cold outside. I’m excited to give thanks for an incredible year that has just flown by. I give thanks and look forward to what is in the future and what may be added to our bank of memories.

I dreamed the other night that I tried buying ornaments from a store here in the US. I wanted to fill our new tree more and was fully intending to pass the ornaments off as ones I had bought overseas. I thought this was funny because I wouldn’t really do that in real life. The truth is, He gives us special moments in His time and at just the right time. No rush here, the tree will fill as He allows. Christmas is not about the tree or what is underneath. Celebrating and taking joy in the baby that was born in the stable and is starring back at me in that nativity scene from Africa…He is the reason…He is enough….He is the joy of the season.

The Blind Side

2009-12-01T19:58:00.001-06:00

It’s been quite a while since I have seen a good movie.... a really good movie. When I say good, I mean the kind of movie that somehow touches you deeply to where you are still thinking about it days later. I finally made it to see the movie “Blind Side.” This was my second attempt. The first time it was sold out, but persistence paid off.

To give you an idea, the movie is about an orphan boy who needs a miracle and who longs to be loved. A wealthy family takes him in, and not only teaches him how to play football, but gives him the most precious gift of all….love. Let me just warn that if you are a parent, if you have ever worked with at-risk children, or if you have even the smallest emotional bone in your body, take some Kleenex. You will need them.

The story is about the life of a young boy named Michael. From the start of the movie, it’s easy to fall in love with him and want to jump into the screen and just hug him. Probably not more than ten minutes into the movie, I felt my heart beginning to sink and tears coming down my face. He reminded me so much of many children I have had the privilege to love on and to teach. He reminded me of my at risk students that lived in the projects here in the US. Michael carried his school books in a plastic grocery bag because he had no backpack. Wal-Mart bags were the choice bag for my kids’ make shift backpacks. As I watched him carry the bag in the movie, I couldn’t help but think of my old kids. They were just like Michael. He had never owned a bed, neither had most of my students. As I reminisced about them I found myself smiling while my heart was crying for them once again. He also reminded me of the many orphan children I have met around the world. All of them also longing for a family and a chance to live out the potential within their lives.

My Pastor just finished a sermon series on taking risks. We looked in Hebrews 11, and studied about what the Word says about faith and risks. What if we all took the risk to help someone the way Michael’s adopted family did in this movie? What if we gave someone a chance and helped them reach their potential? What if we poured out love to someone not knowing if we would receive the love back? Would it take faith? Would it be a risk? I’m guessing so! However, just as the movie (which is a true story) proved, some risks are worth taking.

I’d encourage you to see the movie if you get a chance. I’d also encourage you to ask the Lord what He would want you to do in helping others. Caring for the least of these may be His answer to your question. What will your response be?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-24T15:46:00.000-06:00

Psalm 107 (New International Version)

1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say this—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,

3 those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south. [a]

4 Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.

5 They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.

6 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.

7 He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.

8 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,

9 for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

10 Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,

11 for they had rebelled against the words of God
and despised the counsel of the Most High.

12 So he subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.

13 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

14 He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.

15 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,

16 for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron.

17 Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.

18 They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.

19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

20 He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.

21 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men.

22 Let them sacrifice thank offerings
and tell of his works with songs of joy.

23 Others went out on the sea in ships;
they were merchants on the mighty waters.

24 They saw the works of the LORD,
his wonderful deeds in the deep.

25 For he spoke and stirred up a tempest
that lifted high the waves.

26 They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths;
in their peril their courage melted away.

27 They reeled and staggered like drunken men;
they were at their wits' end.

28 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he brought them out of their distress.

29 He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea were hushed.

30 They were glad when it grew calm,
and he guided them to their desired haven.

31 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men.

32 Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people
and praise him in the council of the elders.

33 He turned rivers into a desert,
flowing springs into thirsty ground,

34 and fruitful land into a salt waste,
because of the wickedness of those who lived there.

35 He turned the desert into pools of water
and the parched ground into flowing springs;

36 there he brought the hungry to live,
and they founded a city where they could settle.

37 They sowed fields and planted vineyards
that yielded a fruitful harvest;

38 he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased,
and he did not let their herds diminish.

39 Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled
by oppression, calamity and sorrow;

40 he who pours contempt on nobles
made them wander in a trackless waste.

41 But he lifted the needy out of their affliction
and increased their families like flocks.

42 The upright see and rejoice,
but all the wicked shut their mouths.

43 Whoever is wise, let him heed these things
and consider the great love of the LORD.

"Walking with God"

2009-11-16T11:47:00.001-06:00

“In the beginning of our story, before the fall of the human race, before we sent the world spinning off its axis- there was a garden called, Eden. And in that garden, the first man and the first woman had a life we have all been looking for ever since. They walked with God, communicated with him directly: For this we were made. And this we MUST recover. Intimacy with God is the purpose of our lives. It’s why God created us.” (Walking with God by John Eldredge).

I haven’t read a really good book for a while. Haven’t had a lot of time to, but even when I did have time to read, the books weren’t really “speaking” to me. Recently, I went to a bookstore and walked in with a feeling of wanting to find a book that would help me with hearing God speak. I looked in one section to find a group of popular sellers. I pulled one off the shelf. It was about hearing God and using the gift of prophecy. Not what I had in mind. I kept looking and found “Walking with God” by John Eldredge.

All I can say is, Wow! If you want a more intimate relationship with the One who wants to be your best friend and to talk to you…check this book out. It’s really good.

Dutch Oven Surprise

2009-11-09T10:57:00.003-06:00

We recently went for a hike at a state park here in Texas. Just as we got there, we stumbled upon a group of people. An aroma of home cooked food surrounded their site. The signs hanging around and logos embroidered on their aprons let us know they were the “Dutch Oven Society” of Texas. Apparently, once a month they get together for a potluck dinner and fellowship. Yes…there is actually a society for people with a passion for cooking with Dutch Ovens…amazing....I know.

We walked around the site to just take it all in. Camp site grills and Dutch oven galore…RVs were everywhere. While we were walking, a couple approached us to say hello and to invite us to the meal. We politely declined and explained we had only come to the park to hike. Soon another couple came up and invited us to stay. Again we declined. Soon more people came up as we were walking away and asked us to stay. We had no choice but to give into the friendliness. How could we say no to these sweet people who seemed so happy, kind, and eager for us to eat their food?!

Oh the amount of food! (All cooked in Dutch Ovens on camp fire coals) It was actually pretty good too. However, the conversation and people were even better. We were invited to sit with three other couples that were a part of the Dutch Oven Society. We not only learned about the couples in the group and about the group, but also learned about cooking and eating the perfect mountain oyster. To be really honest, I never wanted to know that information. If you don’t know what a mountain oyster is, don’t ask…you don’t want to know. The stories made us laugh as we enjoyed our meal together. The people were precious.

Afterwards, I got to thinking. If we Christians were half as passionate about our faith as these people were about Dutch Oven cooking, we could really reach more people. If we were as warm, friendly, giving, and eager to feed and befriend, maybe the church would be more packed on Sunday morning. If we didn’t take no for an answer, and insisted we gave to someone without expecting something in return (especially to complete strangers), imagine how our family would grow!

I learned a lot from that Dutch Oven meal. A little surprise for me that day. I went for a hike expecting to see the beauty in nature on that crisp fall day, and I did. However, I saw even more beauty in the kindness and passion of strangers who wanted to share a meal with a couple they didn’t even know. Perfect example of how we should reach out to others and show the love of Christ.

As the deer pants for streams of water...

2009-11-03T11:04:00.003-06:00

At times I get so busy with the details of the everyday routine, I forget to look at the beauty around me. Every once in a while I take a break and try to enjoy the beauty God has given us that most days we all take for granted.

On a recent hike at a state park in Illinois, I snapped a few pictures of the scenes around me. Wow. The colors so abundant, the freshly fallen leaves on the path looked like streets of gold in a way. The paths looked paved in color and prepared for just my feet. Only God could create such a picture. Only His hands could arrange the sights, the cool breeze, and the fresh air on a crisp fall day. For a moment, I wasn’t thinking about my to-do list or even where the hour hand on my watch was. In that moment I was thankful for a God that is the master of masterpieces. No other artist can paint a picture that captures all the senses as He does. Taking time to enjoy it is what He wants us to do. It helps us to grow closer to Him and to appreciate His work.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? (Psalm 42: 1-2)

Big Tex

2009-10-16T07:28:00.002-05:00

I’ve done and seen a lot of new things in the past few months. Recently, I made the Mecca like journey for every Texan to the Texas State Fair. The fair was a big event. Then again, everything in Texas is big, right? One thing the fair is known for is the fried food. Every year, a new fried item is introduced and announced the contest winner for the year. This year was fried butter. Sounds terrible. No doubt is terrible for your arteries, but I figured one bite wouldn’t hurt me. After all, the fair is only once a year.

Shockingly enough, the fried butter was really good. Here’s the deal: You take a lump of frozen butter, put some batter on it, deep fry it, and serve. The result is a biscuit like doughnut bite of buttery heaven with a little powdered sugar on top. Nice.

I’ve been making a conscious effort to eat healthier. (Obviously after reading about my food choice above!) In the last three weeks, I have had no pop/soda. I’ve been eating smaller portions and been making healthier choices. Maybe that change in my habits made the menu items stand out to me so much at the fair. Here is a list of a few of the fried items they offer:

Fried Ice Cream
Fried PB, Jelly and Banana Sandwich
Fried Coke
Fried Praline Perfection
Deep Fried Latte
Fried Cookie Dough
Fried Banana Split
Chicken Fried Bacon
Deep Fried Butter
Deep Fried Peaches & Cream
Fried Snickers
Fried Twinkie
Fried Peanut Butter Cup
Fried Cheesecake
Fried Smores

I’m proud to say out of all of these choices, I had only one bite of fried butter. That’s pretty good by most fair patron standards. All in all, it was a fun night. We were greeted with a good ole “Howdy” from Big Tex who stands tall each year and greets each fair visitor. We rode the Ferris Wheel that glides 212 feet high in the air to overlook the skyline of Dallas. My husband tried to win me a stuffed animal at an impossible to win game. We ate a bit of fried food, and of course we had the traditional Corn Dog from the fair vendors.

It was a nice end to my first summer in Texas. Now, on to the next adventure and new experience.

Autistic Basketball Player

2009-10-11T06:35:00.010-05:00

In the storybooks, there are always happy endings. Do you remember hearing a story as a child and feeling that all was right in the world from getting caught up in the feel good moment of the fairytale? As adults, those moments are few and far between it seems. Even watching the news can be a downer in these times. Economic hardships, war, and violence are being reported at each newscast every night. There actually are stories of good out there. There are stories of answered prayers and miracles happening each day. When I hear them, I slip back into that child like state of, even just for a second, feeling all is right in the world.

Here is a story that did it for me recently. I hope it puts a smile on your face and warmth in your heart. The prayer of a coach, the dream of a special needs child, and the God of the universe reaching down for a moment to remind us He cares, He hears, and He answers.

Purpose For Your Life

2009-10-08T11:18:00.004-05:00

“We also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11

I remember as a child hearing people talking about getting a “calling.” Mainly, I remember it in regards to someone talking about how they became a Pastor. “When I got the call…” they would say. As a child, I remember wondering if the phone rang in their moment of getting “the call.” I didn’t really get it. To be honest, it would be much later in my life that I would truly understand what that really meant.

As I got older, I gained a new understanding to what it meant. My take on it was that it meant you figured out what you were to do with your career. At one time I was set on becoming an audiologist. I felt I was getting a calling to test hearing and to work with ears. I was getting closer.

Years later, I now sit and reflect on what a calling really is and feel like I finally have a grip on what it means. Henry Blackaby writes, “God initiates our calling and reveals it to us through His Holy Spirit. His Spirit then guides and empowers as we serve God not only in our vocation but also by participating in His kingdom work. God has a purpose for your life, and it involves far more than earning a living.”

In my mid twenties, my relationship with Christ changed. It blossomed and took on a deep and meaningful level I can’t describe. In the beginning of this season, I started to hear the phone ring. One day I picked it up. The next thing I knew, I was on a plane to minister to orphans in a country I knew nothing about. As I sat on the plane departing the US, I wondered if I should have let my machine pick up the call.

Today, I’m thankful I answered it. My calling is to serve (specifically to “the least of these” talked about in Matthew 25). How do I know? Because it is there that I find Him. It is there that I see Him. It is there that I know I am right where I am supposed to be and in His kingdom work. What about you? Have you answered the phone yet? God DOES have a purpose for your life far greater than earning a living. What is it? Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will open. Take a deep breath, and answer the phone.

Random Questions From My Quirky Mind

2009-09-29T15:28:00.002-05:00

Am I weird because I got excited and already bought a pumpkin bowl and a bunch of candy for the trick or treater’s this year?

Is there a more beautiful place in the fall besides IL?

Why is a campfire so hypnotizing?

Are runners chasing after more than the finish line in life? And are climbers trying to reach something more than the top of the mountain??

Why do cell phone companies have to be so frustrating?

Why does The Cheesecake Factory cheesecake make me smile with just the thought of it?

Is there such a thing as healthy food that tastes terrific?

Does it make me “mature” that my neighbors painted the trim on their house and the entire garage door bright PINK and I: 1. Resisted the urge to run to the other neighbors and gossip about it. 2. Still smile and wave to them even though the pink color strikes a nerve in me each day.

It is bad that one of the reasons I am excited for fall is that I can wear cute heeled boots again?

Will my husband remember that he said he won’t ever say I am not adventurous since I crawled through a bunch of dark caves with him that had big spiders and no room to stand up?!

Will I ever be able to run competitively again?

Will this new season of fall be the best season in life yet?

Is there a comfortable dress shoe with heels that won’t hurt my foot after wearing it for 12 hours?

How will I see God at work this season and how will I allow Him to work through me?

Feel free to provide answers to any of the above.

The Door

2009-09-18T10:58:00.001-05:00

As I take a step up, I have to take a deep breath. I gently raise my hand in the shape of a loose fist and thrust it over my head and forward. I realize I have been in this very spot before. The same hand is raised, the same lungs taking in air to calm my pulse rate down, the same fears running through my mind, and the same anxiety of not knowing what will be the result of the knock on the door. As my hand hits the door in my mind, I can almost hear it audibly. *Knock… Knock….Knock*

Will He answer the door? He promises to do so. How long will I have to knock? Will He crack the door open just a bit to tell me to come back later? If so, what should I do in the meantime? Am I at the wrong door? How about a note slipped under the door with directions on where to find the right door with Him behind it? I’m just not sure. And so…I keep knocking. *Knock…Knock*

To the right or to the left? Move quickly ahead or Be Still? Who knows? As I stand before a heavy door that I’m not sure I could even push open if I did hear “Come on in” from the other side, I wait. Knowing in my heart there is a purpose and growth in the wait before the door opens, I still have a feeling of confusion. Hanging on to the promise, I will persist. *Knock*

Matthew 7:7-8 NLT “ Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

The Climb

2009-09-14T11:39:00.001-05:00

My husband and I went for a bike ride recently. We rode 10 miles, Phil hardly broke a sweat. He is way stronger than I am on a bike. About 4 miles into the ride we came to a decision making point. Turn around and go home, was option one. Go to the right and have to climb a very large hill, was option number two. Or we could do option number three and ride in a residential area. I chose option number three.

Although option number three didn’t have that huge hill, I wasn’t aware that it did have some (not exactly small) hills. I suddenly became aware as I looked and couldn’t see over the hump in the road far ahead. I needed to get moving. Phil rode right beside me and encouraged me. I was struggling to get the words out of my mouth, “I….don’t….think…I…can make…it..to…the top.” He reassured me I could.

I was struggling. Phil told me to try to stand and pedal…my legs wouldn’t let me up. I was worn out. I wasn’t sure how to respond to the person driving up the hill in their car who yelled out the window “Good Job!” As I was CREEPING up the hill and noticeably wobbly at this point, I wasn’t sure the passerby was making fun of me or trying to encourage me. A walker would have been going faster up that hill than I was climbing. So..I laughed…which didn’t help as I was trying to get up the hill.

All the sudden I felt a hand on my back and a gentle push in those last few feet that I didn’t think I was going to make. As I looked to my left, I saw my husband riding one handed while helping me along. I didn’t ask for the help. He knows I never would have, I am way too stubborn. It bruised my pride to be pushed but was greatly appreciated at the same time. And so…I let him help me up those last few feet to the top.

What about you? Are you struggling up a hill? Are you barely able to stand up to push? We all have been there in life. Maybe it isn’t about a bike ride. Maybe it is something in life that you are struggling with that is even bigger, and you feel like you are climbing a mountain instead of a hill. Know that the Lord is there to take one hand off His handle bars and to help you up. He is riding right beside you. He is watching you, cheering you on, and even ready to give you a gentle push to the top if you will receive it. And remember, once you get to the top, it’s all downhill from there.

Orphan Sunday

2009-09-08T11:50:00.000-05:00

Grab your calendars, blackberries, and notepads. Orphan Sunday is November 8th, 2009. Get your church involved! Click this link to learn more.

http://www.orphansunday.org/

Let the voice of millions be heard in your church.

Prayers for Blessed

2009-09-04T11:35:00.003-05:00

Please pray for this little one in Kenya. Her name is “Blessed” and she is the daughter of a Pastor in Kitale, Kenya. She has a heart condition and needs medical attention and a miracle. She is pictured here with her father. Financial provision and physical healing to her body are greatly needed.

Days of Hunger Ahead...

2009-08-20T08:25:00.002-05:00

In a time when the crops should be flourishing and lush, the sight of the fields is bare and hardly what it should be. In a time when you shouldn’t be able to see your neighbor’s rooftop because the corn is so tall, you can practically see your neighbors doorstep. In a time where you can hear the stalks of corn gently move in the breeze, you hear a constant rustling of dry leaves brushing against each other. Kenya is in a stage of drought.

The food Kenyans rely on the most, is maze. It’s a type of corn, and they practically live on it. It can be cooked on a basic grill made from a bit of wire. It can be ground and used for corn meal. There are many ways to use it for food, and it is what the country depends on to survive. This year, due to the lack of rain, it just isn’t there.

Kenyans are preparing for the impending famine that will be coming soon. With the lack of maze, people will starve. When your child needs food and is so very hungry, what do you feed them? When water is scarce, and the food just isn’t there, what do you do? Many Kenyans are turning to prayer for their hope in a miracle.

While traveling in Kenya this July, I was shocked. The corn fields that are normally bright green and healthy were brown and dead. The corn stalks were so short, and almost brought tears to my eyes as I gazed out to the fields that surrounded my truck window. What will these people eat? They have to have food. The Kenyans are preparing for hard times ahead. “People will starve to death this year, it’s going to happen with the crops the way they are. Things will be very tough in the days ahead,” they say.

Yes, I am one of the first in a crowd to start a discussion about our health care debates going on right now. We are so blessed to not be debating about topics such as “What will we all eat in the coming months.” What will the Kenyans do? What will they eat? How many will die as a result of the recent droughts and lack of corn? It’s a sad reality they just aren’t ready to deal with. Neither am I. Our kids live there. Our sisters and brothers live there, and in Matthew 25 verses 35-40 Jesus tells us it is He will be there living it as well.

Please pray for all those searching for food, ways to survive, and faith to get through the days ahead. Please pray for ways you can be a part of the answer.

The Boy at the Window

2009-08-12T12:02:00.003-05:00

"Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always" 1 Chronicles 16:11

In a small village tucked away in fields of corn, there stood a church with sounds of praises pouring out of the cracks in the mud walls and the two open doors of the church. One window was covered with a cloth stretched as far as the threads would allow with sunlight beaming through the worn holes. Wrapped tightly around the bar to the window, I saw a small dark hand gripping metal. As my eyes worked upwards from that hand, they stopped on the eyes of a young boy. This is him pictured here.

As the word of God was read and praise and music was filling the room. The presence of the Lord was felt, and the eyes of this young boy watched intently. I found my head tilt to the side as the thought, “Who is he” crossed my mind. Where did he come from? Has he ever been in this church before? As I watched him stand and listen for at least a couple hours, as the African church service proceeded, I prayed for him.

He was more than just a small boy to me. He represented all those young children who don’t quite make it into the church. He stood on the outside peering in. Was he wondering what it was like to have the joy he saw in the faces of those inside? Maybe he was seeking an answer to where the sound was coming from that he could hear in the village coming from the church’s area. Maybe he was looking for food. Maybe he was looking for water. Maybe he was in need of something to quench his spiritual thirst. The boy at the window represented to me so many out there that are peering in and seeking answers…seeking Him.

After some time, I looked to the window and of course, he was gone. Off into the fields of corn, probably never to be seen by me again. He is still out there, and so are the millions of others who are hungry, thirsty, and/or just looking for answers. They are peering in the window with a desire to join in. I’m not sure of this young man’s name, but ask you to lift him up in prayer today.

Posting Soon

2009-08-11T16:59:00.003-05:00

Thanks to you all who have been checking this site for new posts. We got back from Africa about a week ago. We have been trying to get caught up with things this week. I'm working on getting some stories and pictures up soon from the trip!

Someway...Somehow...Back to Africa

2009-07-10T10:53:00.002-05:00

In less than one week, I travel back to a place that has stolen something from me. It’s a place that some how chisels off pieces of my heart each time I am there. Each piece broken off is surrendered reluctantly and accompanied by a mixture of pure joy and pain. Next week, I travel back to Africa.

How does one prepare one’s heart to be broken by the sight of human suffering? How does one prepare one's eyes to see the image of children naked and starving on the street? How does one prepare one’s arms to hold a child that longs to be held and loved by a forever family? How does one prepare ones feet to walk away when it is time to go? I have no idea. I just know God does it…someway ..somehow.

Maybe it’s the innocent smile from an abandoned baby looking up from a crib. Maybe it’s grip of a hand onto yours from a teenager who wants a friend..even for just a moment. Maybe it is the tear of joy streaming down a widow’s face as she describes how blessed she is to care for her HIV infected grandchild in a one room mud hut. Maybe it is the inspiration that comes from seeing the courage and faith they all have by the Grace of God..someway… somehow.

Maybe one’s heart can never be prepared, but can be broken and miraculously healed by the glow of light that comes from the many least of these they encounter. How does ones heart be broken so many times in one day, and rest at night beating bigger than it had the previous dawn? It’s an out of this world thing He does..someway... somehow.

Soon, I travel back to Africa. I go to learn, to see, to serve, and to meet Him there once again. What an honor and blessing it will be. Phil and I will be traveling together this time and would greatly appreciate your prayers. One year ago, I started this blog as a way for me to write about my trip to Africa then. It served as a place to tell stories of those who needed a voice. I hope to bring that voice back with me once again after this trip. I’m not sure how often I will be able to update my blog while gone. Please know if I can’t update while I am away, I will do so when I return.

Living Life

2009-07-01T11:21:00.001-05:00

There was a time in my life when I didn’t “get it.” Maybe you have been there. Maybe you are there. I was living life, and yes was a Christian. However, I wasn’t “getting it”. I went to the Lord each day with my requests and even praises at times too. That’s what Christians do, right? That is our purpose. We ask for help and give thanks for our blessings. Then one day I realized there was much more to life…something I suspected all along.

It hit me one day in what seemed like a far away distant world the Lord had taken me to. There were probably 150 people in the room with me. It felt like just the two of us were there alone. It was there He spoke. I’m not sure what He said exactly. It wasn’t auditable. The words somehow poured into my heart, into my soul, and into the deepest place within me. I realized then and there, I wasn’t living my life for Him. I was living it for me. I wasn’t “getting it” in life. I changed in that moment and made a decision to drastically do things different. I suddenly got it.

Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

How are you living your life? Are you living it for you or for Him? What are you giving? I often find I ask this question to myself at times. Living a life FOR Him is an intentional effort and choice that has to be made daily. It’s hard to slip away from it and go back to the self-centeredness we all have. Are you so busy trying to make a living that you have been side tracked from giving and living a life for Him? Ouch..I know it hurts to look so closely at ourselves in that regard.

It takes courage. I'm guilty, and I know many of you are too. We go to Him and ask Him for guidance, wisdom, or help. We do this knowing full well, IF we opened our ears up big enough, or IF His voice somehow miraculously reached us even though we aren’t actively listening, we won’t take the guidance. It’s like we ask, “tell me what to do, Lord” thinking that request gets us off the hook. We ask for the help so we have done our part. Then we expect it to all be handed to us or fixed until we need help again. It has to be such a slap in the face to Him. We don’t live our lives for Him, but we are constantly coming to Him for help and expecting Him to fix it. We ignore Him when He does try to help..if it entails us actually doing something, sacrificing, or just doesn’t sound like fun. I can’t imagine how frustrating that would be. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be that person to my Heavenly Father.

Therefore today, once again, I pray for change. I challenge you to pray too. Let’s pray for a life that is being lived out for Him. Wake up each day and make that effort and be thankful for the opportunity. The best in life awaits us. He blesses those who are faithful and obedient. He will guide us..IF we ask and are willing to listen and take the direction. Let’s live a life For Him.

An Ungrateful Mower

2009-06-23T06:07:00.000-05:00

I was mowing recently and feeling pretty ungrateful. My hands had blisters because I had to keep gripping the mower and picking it up every so many steps to keep the long grass from clogging it up. It was hot. I didn’t feel good. The sticks the mower picked up kept shooting out the back and hitting my legs. My foot hurt. When I had to turn the mower off, I sometimes couldn’t get it started on the first pull. I was ticked.

As the sun beamed down and the degrees gradually grew on the thermostat, I had a flashback in my life. It was just under one year ago. I was riding in a truck down a busy and mass populated area. There were small patches of grass on the road medians. Every patch seemed to have an old woman sitting on it…mowing. The mowing was a bit different than what I did though. They didn’t have gasoline to fill up a machine to cut the grass. They sat all day with hand clippers slowing cutting away at each blade. The sun was hot, and they sat all day clipping. This is a day in the life of many Ethiopian women..the blessed ones that have a job and a source of income. They hand clip grass and are probably thankful to do it.

Was I thankful? I was thankful to be done when it was over. I wasn’t nearly as grateful as I should have been. I was blessed with the mower, the gasoline, clean water to drink when I was hot, clean clothes to wear when I showered after the sweaty work, and a yard of my own to mow on top of everything. My perspective changed after I realized my selfishness.

There are blessings in so many things we do and even complain about each day. Doing the laundry seems so time consuming at times. The picture above is of an Ethiopian woman, I met last year, doing her laundry by hand. We are so blessed and need to remember to give thanks and to pray for those who struggle and dream to have a sliver of what we complain about.

My prayer today is for those women clipping grass in a far away country today. May God bless them just as much as He has blessed me.

And The Walls Come Down

2009-06-18T09:45:00.002-05:00

I recently started going to an acupuncturist for some health issues. As a former “sick kid,” who was stuck with needles too many times to count, I never thought I would find myself in a position willingly having 30+ needles poked into me at any given time. Strange are the situations we find ourselves in during our time here, I guess. The first few times of going, I was hesitant each time the Dr. approached me. Not that the needles hurt too badly, but it was probably more due to the loss of control I felt. The picture above is one where the Dr. is attempting to get the damaged nerves in my knee to work again following a botched knee surgery from my past.

One visit while I was suffering from a cold, my Dr. told me he could give me some relief by placing the needles in some sinus points. He found a knot in the back of my neck, and told me to relax as he put the needle in. He then told me to breathe. Ahhhh…for the first time in days my nose suddenly worked to take in air. It was as if a wall had just been knocked down inside my sinuses. I greatly enjoyed what so many of us take for granted normally, getting air to my lungs by way of taking in air through the nose! It was so nice.

What felt like a wall in my nose/sinuses had been up for a few days. I tried lots of things to take it down. I did the sinus rinse (as I chuckled at how silly I looked putting a plastic tea pot looking thing up my nose.) I used vapor rub, over the counter meds, allergy meds, hot tea, etc. Nothing broke down the wall until that needle went into the knot/muscle/nerve or whatever you call where he put it.

As I held still in a semi dark room with the pins in me, I got to thinking about how the Lord works on our hearts. I think a lot of us have walls around our hearts. Walls that we have tried to break down with cheap and temporary remedies. None really work. The Lord has the ability to touch our hearts and remove those walls. It’s amazing how he can do it. He finds the place where we hurt, and with His gentle touch…the wall comes down. It’s pretty amazing. When the wall comes down, it’s like breathing clearly for the first time in a long time.

Just as I was hesitant at those first few needles going in me, I know some of you are hesitant of letting the Lord near that wall. You are afraid it will hurt and probably afraid you will lose control. Take a deep breath, relax, and realize you are in good hands. Ask Him to remove that wall, and before you know it…you will be amazed at how clearly you are breathing again.

Instant Message From God

2009-06-15T17:48:00.002-05:00

I had a dream last night. It started just as I drifted off. I dreamt I was on the computer and suddenly got an instant message from someone on the screen. A greeting came across the screen. I skeptically typed back to respond and said “Is that you, God?” “Yes, it’s Me.” He answered. I suddenly realized that I should start asking Him some questions while I had Him online. Frantically, I started typing. Sometimes He answered me before I even got the question typed.

Me: Is that You, God?
God: Yes, it’s Me.
Me: What are You doing?
God: Watching over you.
Me: God, could You help me with…
God: Of course, I will provide for you.
Me: How did You know what I was going to ask?
God: I just knew. Yes, I will provide for you.
Me: Will you stay close to me?
God: Always

The conversation continued. I asked a few more questions. There have been many nights where I pray in bed asking for wisdom. King Solomon asked for wisdom during a dream conversation with God. He asked for just a sliver of God's wisdom. I have often asked for this while awake. In my dream, did I ask for wisdom on my instant message conversation? Nope. Did I ask Him the questions about things I have lost sleep over in my life? Nope. Instead I asked questions about safety, provision, etc. I didn’t know I was even worried about these things.

I was irritated when I woke up. The questions I asked were so elementary. They were questions that I really already knew the answers to. Why didn’t I ask those questions about things I have struggled finding the answers to over the years. Why didn’t I request for a heart more like His or for that sliver of wisdom. Why did I ask questions that I knew the answers to deep down in my heart? I have no idea. I guess the fog of the dream kept me from thinking clearly.

A dream is a dream. Our mind takes us on these imaginary journeys that have no limit on adventure or reality. Although, we know in the Bible, the Lord did come to many people in their dreams. Maybe my dream has more meaning than being just a story in my mind. Maybe the Lord spoke to me in a way to remind me that He is here for us in the little things in life. Maybe He wanted to remind me of things I didn’t know I needed to hear.

Maybe my dream conversation is as much for me as it is for one of you reading this now. Let this be a reminder to us all. God promises that He will always watch out for us. He promises that He will provide, and He won’t leave us. He will do this…always. From His computer screen…to mine…to yours. Message delivered.

Ecclesiastes

2009-06-09T09:17:00.001-05:00

We were challenged this Sunday to read Ecclesiastes and underline the word “meaningless” each time we saw it. I just finished this assignment.

Although I’ve read Ecclesiastes before, the words took a different meaning to me this time. It’s so insightful and really doesn’t take long to read. Maybe I am in a different place in life now than I was when I read it the last time. As I read, I found myself underlining more than just the word “meaningless.” There were several things I highlighted that hit me hard.

“Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influences on us.” (Ecclesiastes 7:3) Boy, is that ever true! Think back to the situations in life that have had the most influence on who you are today. I’m willing to guess that those things that had the biggest impact on you are moments or times of sorrow or sadness…pain or hardships.

“Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this too is meaningless- like chasing the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 5:4)
Unfortunately, I think we are all guilty of this at some point in our lives.

I challenge you to read Ecclesiastes too. Have a pencil in hand to underline what stands out to you as you read.

We do spend a lot of our time here chasing after the wind. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a wind chaser. There is greater purpose in life than running after that wind. Run after what the Lord is calling you to do with your life. Strap on those tennis shoes and run for a purpose that can be lived out through you if you go after it. You won’t be running alone. The Lord knows it’s easier to run with a partner. He will go with you. I’ve got my athletic socks on and am about to lace up. Anyone care to join me?

Junk Ridding

2009-06-02T07:58:00.001-05:00

As I prepare for a yard sale, I look at all the stuff in the for sale pile that I hope to get rid of. As I look at some items, I think to myself, “What if someone doesn’t take that? Will I be stuck with it forever?” Some of the things I really want to get rid of. If no one buys it, should I donate it or even throw it away?

Getting rid of stuff, junk, or even things we like but no longer have room for, isn’t easy. It’s time consuming. It’s difficult to know if you should sell it and how much to sell it for. It’s a lot of work and sometimes is hard to let go of things, but feels GREAT when it’s gone. At the end you are left feeling refreshed and lighter to have gotten rid of so much stuff you had been carrying around. Oh…the joy of Junk-Ridding.

Getting rid of stuff you don’t need is a good thing. We all have a bag or two that needs to be given up. You know what I mean. I’m not talking about the old faithful Samsonite that has lasted a lifetime and you can’t seem to part with. I mean old baggage inside our hearts that we hang on to that needs to go.

Once in the 7th grade we had a new girl start at school. I went out of my way to be nice to her and felt bad for her because she was new. In return, she thought it would be fun to make up a nasty rumor about me and spread it all over the class. That still strikes an anger nerve in me today. Silly, huh?

In the midst of the glorious Yard Sale season, I have a challenge for you (and for myself). Let go of that old bag you have been carrying around. It’s probably something more than a junior high squabble. If it is a bag that you have been carrying, keeping, hording, or even storing in the attic, give it up, let it go. It’s not doing you any good. Let’s face it, you don’t have room for it, and deep down you don’t want it anymore. Maybe it is junk from your past. Maybe you have treasured bitterness about something for a long time. He stands by ready to take it off your hands for you. If you don’t give it to Him, you will be stuck with it for a lifetime. Let it go and enjoy that light feeling of not carrying it around and the refreshed feeling of Junk-Ridding.

Stain Removal

2009-05-29T11:06:00.001-05:00

Recently while fixing my hair for the day, I looked around the room and saw how many cleaners I had. Wow..I have a lot of different soaps. We all do.

Hand soap
Bar Soap
Shower Gel
Shampoo
Face Wash
Pore Cleanser
Foot scrub
Wound cleaner
Toilet Cleaner
Carpet Cleaner
Dust Cleaner
Window Cleaner
Laundry Soap
Stain Removers
Dish Soap
Dish Washer Soap
Kitchen and Bath Cleaner
Wet Wipes
Antibacterial Gel

The list could probably go on and on.

We wash our hands many times a day. Why? We don’t want germs to get into our body thus making us sick. We bathe each day (I hope most of you do anyway). Why? We want to be clean and don’t want to stink. We are obsessed with staying clean. We are obsessed with staying stain free it seems.

We are told that reading His Word will make us healthy, strong, and help us to clean up spiritually. Tell me, why don’t we read it with as much discipline as we do with using our cleaners? Isn’t our spiritual cleanliness more important than anything? We spend money, time, and energy on purchasing and using soaps and cleaners. We pursue the goal of being clean in that way aggressively. We are offered a way to remain clean and free from the stench of sin through our Lord. Why then do we not spend more time with Him?

Just an observation…..

An Attempt to Listen

2009-05-25T11:04:00.000-05:00

A bird chirps. A dog barks. Tree branches move in the wind, and the sound of rustling leaves fills the area that surrounds me. As I look at what was once a beautiful gardenia bush waiting to be planted, I realize my over zealous desire to water it has drowned it and made it yellow and sick.

An ant scurries across the mound of dirt. Rushing to get back to his home. A cucumber plant gains height as I stare. Its growth is so slow I can’t see it moving. However, tomorrow, I will be shocked to see how tall it got in just one day.

A loud crash. A racing engine. The garbage truck and workers are earlier than normal. I faintly hear the ice maker churning and spitting ice into the bucket. At my feet sleeping and breathing softly is one of the sweetest little dogs known to man.

This is my attempt to be still, to be silent, and to listen.

As my mind wanders here and there, I reflect. God is good.

In the midst of the unknown on a sick loved one’s battle, I know that He is Jehovah-Rophe (The Lord who Heals). I give thanks.

As I realize the precious gift of the arms of a husband that hold me so tight and in a way I’ve never felt it be okay to let go and cry before, I know that He is Jehovah-Jireh (The Lord who Provides) I give thanks.

As I think about all those suffering in a world that is not our home, I know that He is El-Shaddai. (The Lord who is Sufficient for the needs of His people). I give thanks.

I stand in awe of the ways he works. I stand in awe of the thousands of leaves on the trees in my backyard and realize He created each one. I know that He cares for each bird in my yard and the lilies in the field. I wonder how. My mind can’t fathom it all, but my heart rejoices.

The Conversation

2009-05-20T07:50:00.003-05:00

It’s surreal how when you get news of a loved one passing away, it seems as if the world stops. Time seems to stand still, and it’s as if you are violently shoved into a bubble of slow motionlessness. Yesterday, I received the call that my grandfather had passed away.

At the risk of sounding cliché, he really is in a better place now. He is in a place of no pain, and in a place where he is enjoying the majesty of the Lord more than we can ever imagine. I have come to peace with that and am thankful.

Yesterday, my mind couldn’t help but go back to the praise song we sang in church only this last Sunday. The words were echoing in my head. “You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name.” In the midst of mourning, I will praise Him and stand in awe of His power.

Phil suggested we go watch the sunset that evening. It was a good idea. As I sat in my kayak watching the sun slowly slip down the horizon, I was reminded that time doesn’t stand still. Life goes on. The birds were still chirping, commercial planes full of people were still flying through the air, and the cars on the bridge were rushing by in their busy evening commute. Life…it goes on.

My grandfather was a good man. He helped so many people in his life. He came to accept Christ’s gift of salvation at a very late age and before the Alzheimer’s claimed much of his body and mind. We are so grateful for that. He is a perfect example of how at a late age in life, thought that praying to God and doing good deeds would get him into Heaven. He didn’t know there was a gift to accept until someone told him. Maybe there is someone in your life that needs to hear the good news that is similar to my grandfather?

We rest in knowing he is in the presence of the Lord now, and we will see him again one day. He will be missed, but his memory will live on in the hearts of those who knew him. Life here..will go on.

Is there someone in your life that you need to have a talk with about their relationship or lack there of with Christ? Life is short. Have that conversation.

Thou Shalt Bless Thy Neighbor

2009-05-18T07:34:00.001-05:00

In a small town, when a siren is heard, everyone goes outside. If there is an ambulance headed somewhere…chances are that you know whose home they are headed to. That’s where I come from. I would hear a siren, look to see what direction it was going, and say a prayer for the person in need.

I now live in a larger city where I know practically no one. Living fairly close by to a hospital, I have been hearing quite a few sirens. At first, I found myself shifting in my seat. I had to resist that habit of walking out the front door to see where the ambulance was going. Now, after being here for a month or so, I don’t seem to notice the noise. To be honest, the prayers for the people in need of those ambulances have ceased too.

Recently while in prayer, I was convicted of my negative attitude while going on my daily walks. Instead of praying for each family as I walked by each home, I tended to think critically about the long grass, broken fences, or junk in their yards. Not many houses are like this where we live. However, there are a few. I wasn’t stopping to consider what might be going on in the lives of those who reside in the homes where the plants that are dying in the pots, and the grass is taller than the family cat lurched outside. Maybe turmoil, stress, or heartache is consuming the time of those who live behind those doors. Maybe painting the chipped mailbox just isn’t a priority because someone is terminally ill.

In my old neighborhood, everyone knew what was going on in the lives of each tattered yard owners’ life....too much so. Here, I just don’t know. So why was I so quick to be critical and so forgetful of how I should love them? Just because I don’t know them, doesn’t make them unworthy of concern or prayer! I prayed that night for the Lord to remind me to pray for the people in the homes as I walk by.

You can tell a lot by walking by the homes of those around you. Toys outside mean they have children that need prayed for. A car held together with duct tape in the driveway may have an owner that could use a prayer for provision. The homes that appear to have everything and look perfect may just have a nice looking front but behind closed doors need prayers for marriages, children, or even salvation.

Consider going for a walk today and praying for your community, your neighbors, and those in each home you pass. You have an opportunity to bless MANY people today. It doesn’t require you to write a check, to give up a Saturday on a busy weekend, or even to venture out of your comfort zone. Take a walk..and bless those around you.

Random Thoughts

2009-05-14T06:58:00.003-05:00

Riding a bike is good exercise and can be fun. Riding a bike with padded shorts is even better.

Is there any thing more frustrating than trying to spread homemade pizza dough in the pan?

I find it quite funny a woman on the news announced she gave birth to fraternal twins that have two different fathers. She was on the news saying she wants everyone to know because there are only a handful of cases of this in the world. Her boyfriend, one of the twin’s fathers, has forgiven her for her unfaithfulness and is raising the other twin as his own. The mother stated she has decided not to inform the second child’s father she had his baby. Well, if he watched the 10:00 news, I’m guessing she won’t have to make that phone call.

Why is a large carpet area rug that covers a portion of the room almost more expensive than carpeting the WHOLE room?

Is it okay to call myself a farmer because I have carrots, cucumbers, and cantaloupe plants growing? If not, I’m going to do it anyway. Is it lame I get excited to see how much they have grown each day? If so, I’m okay with it.

Never thought I would high five over Craig’s List. I have done so…three times….in one week.

I so enjoy how Guitar Hero makes me feel like an actual guitar hero. If Aerosmith ever comes to town, they will be able to count on me for a fill in if needed. I’ll be ready.

I think of Swine Flu every time I touch the handle on the grocery cart.

Cookies are to milk as corn on the cob is to grilled meat as honey mustard is to chicken strips.

If I look forward to having garage sales as much as I absolutely dread having them, does that make me neutral on the event?

Why do squirrels freak me out?

Married Households vs. Single Households: Toilet paper disappears faster. Laundry seems to grow so fast you think it is breeding in the basket. Leftovers don’t last nearly as long. Time seems more precious. The sound of “Honey, I’m home!”..makes your heart flutter.

The Lord continues to bless me more than I deserve.

I wonder if the kids in Kitale had enough to eat today.

The story of David and Goliath makes me smile. Every time I cross the street “Goliad” I think of it.

Rain or shine…IL or TX…in my husband's arms is my favorite place to be.

Be Still...

2009-05-11T15:20:00.002-05:00

I firmly believe that God is all around us in so many ways. Sometimes we just get so busy, so distracted, and so noisey, that we don’t notice He is right there. Recently while kayaking, I was reminded of this.

As we paddled on the calm lake water, I dodged the trees sticking out of the water. A crane sat perched in a tree nearby enjoying the view and breeze. My husband says I am all or nothing..either I “go fast” or “don’t go at all” while paddling. I hate to admit that he is right most of the time. However, in this moment I moved slowly towards the bird. I wanted to see him. I wanted to get as close as I could. I tried to be as quiet as possible, and I couldn’t believe how close I was able to get. The bird was beautiful. Eventually, it gently lifted into the air and flew away.

The further I glided around the lake, I realized how nice it was when I stopped to listen. The sounds of nature are really pretty calming and nice. Those sounds are always there. This was the first time I had actually heard them since the move to my new place in life.

Why have I never heard them before? Is it because it was a calm day? Maybe it was because music wasn’t encompassing my mode of transportation or being fed right into my ears. My fingers weren’t busy texting either. Maybe it was because for the rare moment, no words were pushing their way past my lips. It was quiet, and I liked it.

The occasional fish flopped near my boat, and I’ll confess I might have let out a shriek or two. But for the most part, it was a peaceful time. I have problems with being still. I don’t have attention issues. I have just fallen accustomed to the trap of the enemy…an addiction to noise. I think he pulls us into the trap so we have a harder time hearing the Lord. When I took the time to consciously stop and to be still…I saw Him in the birds. I saw Him in the sounds of His creations, and I felt Him in the peace I felt as I relaxed.

I wonder if in the times in life I have felt like I couldn’t hear Him while wanting guidance, if I just missed it with that “go fast or don’t go at all” way I have sometimes. Was I going so fast or too distracted, that I didn’t hear when the guidance was offered? Was it gently whispered to me as the wind whistled and the birds chirped, but the music vibrating out of the car speakers covered it up? Maybe I was on the phone, was busy cleaning, or was making one of the many on-going mental lists in my head and just didn’t hear it. Bummer.

I’m a work in progress just like the next person. My prayer is that we all make an extra effort to see Him each day, to hear Him each day, and to enjoy Him each and every day. Sometimes we just have to be still and quiet.

Registration Purgatory

2009-05-08T17:00:00.003-05:00

I had but one goal for today. It seemed simple, but it was just one of those days. We have all had those days. They are they kind that sitcom writers get their plots from. Today I entered into what I call “Registration Purgatory.”

I have spent a good amount of time on the phone lately. I haven’t been chatting like a school girl to friends back home, rather I’ve been on the phone with government agencies. There are important things on my to-do list: Change my name on my passport, register my vehicle, get a driver’s license, and obtain a social security card with my new name.

As I sit and type in this moment…I have no real proof of who I am. At least I can chuckle as I type that last sentence. Trust me, I wasn’t laughing a few hours ago.

It started with a few calls to the DMV and the County Registration department. They told me all the paperwork I was to bring. I packed my things and was on my way. The first stop was to get the vehicle checked.

I needed to get my oil changed and also get the required “Certificate of Inspection” for Texas. With a minimal wait, I was out the door and feeling very optimistic that I could get the registration of my SUV AND license today. Why not? What could go wrong? I was on a roll.

As I walked into the registration office, I saw two signs and two groups of people waiting. Next to the first group waiting, was a sign that said “Property Taxes.” Next to the other group was a sign that said “Registration.” After waiting about 20 minutes, I realized that there was a small sign reading that only cash and checks were accepted for payments. Realizing I didn’t have our checkbook and didn’t have a lot of cash, I left and drove to the nearest ATM.

Next I came back to an even more crowded room. I took my place at the end of the line by the group with the registration sign. After waiting 45 minutes, I finally got to the counter. I explained that I needed to register my vehicle. The tired woman looked up from the counter and said, “I’m sorry, you are in the wrong line. Your line is over there.” “You mean I should have been in the line under the property taxes sign for my car registration instead of the registration sign?” “Yes, that is correct,” she stated. I wanted to ask her if I was on a hidden camera prank show.

After waiting at least a half hour in the property tax group, I was finally called up to the oh so friendly counter of property taxes for my car registration. After looking at my paperwork, I was told that I was missing information on the bank in which a loan was taken out on my car. This info was not listed as paperwork needed when I called. So, I was told to come back when I had the appropriate info.

Too make a long story short (too late). I eventually stood in more lines, retrieved the needed info, and received the registration. Now I was on to get my license. By following the directions to the DMV that I was given at the registration office, I arrived at the building. As I entered it, I let out a sigh of relief for almost being done with the whole process. It was cut short as I saw a sign on a window. “If you are looking for the DMV office, it has moved to another building at ___ location.” Great.

Back into the car I went and drove to the new office. What did I do next? I stood in line again, of course. My turn came and I explained I simply wanted a Texas license. I was confident there would be no problems because I brought everything they told me to bring on the phone. Only there was a problem because during my turn, they told me they MUST have my birth certificate. I would have loved to have had that info earlier.

Home again…home again. After grabbing a quick bite to eat and packing my birth certificate, I drove back to the DMV. As I opened the door, I realized many people had just gotten off work as the line was almost out the door. When my turn finally came, things went smoothly, and I was in disbelief. “Here is your temporary copy, Miss” the worker said. “Temporary? Temporary copy of what?” I asked. “Your temporary license. You don’t actually get your license today. We will mail it to you in 4-6 weeks.” Shocked and a bit irritated that I wasn’t getting the card, I was just thankful to be done.

As I got into the car, something hit me. I am going to be travelling in a few weeks. How can I travel with no picture ID? So, back I went to stand at the end of the line wrapped around the room. (You aren’t allowed to ask questions unless you wait your turn in line.) When it was my turn once again, I asked them what I was supposed to do since they took my old license, and I had no picture ID to travel with. I was told there was nothing they could do.

Six hours after I started this process, I was left not knowing what my legal name actually is. Do I go by my maiden name or my married name? I have no official identification. My new social security card is being processed, my driver’s license consists of an index sized piece of paper with a red stamp on it, and my passport is probably somewhere in a Pennsylvania office cubicle. All of these things promised to arrive in 4-6 weeks. Who am I? What shall I call myself? I am in Registration Purgatory.

And so I wait…I wait on my cards and ID paperwork to come in the mail. I will be still and know that God is on top of this all and will work it all out. He knows my name and I can be identified by and through Him. My husband says he still loves me (whoever I am) and I know God does too. I will call myself Beth Brinkmeyer….even if I can’t prove it officially.

Thus ends my blog venting.

Dying Hope

2009-05-05T08:47:00.004-05:00

I had the honor of attending the Orphan Summit V this year. I missed this conference last year, but was able to attend the year before. This conference has a way of inspiring me, refocusing me, and convicting me.

On the first day of the conference, Rob Mitchell was our plenary speaker. Rob, the author of "Castaway Kid," was an orphan. His story hits close to home in the way that he lived in an orphanage less than an hour from my home before I was even born. He tells the story of what it was like not only to be an orphan, but as a child enduring the hardships of institutional life and the heartbreak of abandonment.

The most powerful statement I heard Rob speak was when he explained the day "Hope Died." He talked of how most orphans have that day. It's a day when they are beaten down and realize they will never be in a family. They will never be loved and from that point on vow to build a wall around their hearts. Hope, something most hang on to until the very end, dies in these children.

As he explained that feeling, I realized that I have seen this in the eyes of so many children. It's an empty look. It's the look of the abandoned, the heartbroken, the lost, the lonely, and the unwanted. To hear a man tell first hand of how worthless he felt as a child, broke my heart. To realize there are MILLIONS of children like him out there is so very convicting.

Hope. We are told in Jeremiah that the Lord has a future for us all. It is one with a hope and a future. As we were so bluntly reminded in one session, "Satan hates babies and hates children" and so he wages his war on these precious children. He robs them of their innocence, their childhood, and their hope. Hope dies within them.

We have the opportunity to resurrect that hope. We have an opportunity to reach down into the pit these children are in, and give them our hand to lift them up. We have the opportunity to do some of the most important work we will be offered in the battles of this world. It all starts with one simple prayer. "Lord, use me."

2009-04-27T14:13:00.004-05:00

This past weekend I had the privilege of going with my husband to Buckner International’s Founder's Day Banquet and Go.Be.Do. Conference. It was a great weekend of giving thanks for all the Lord is doing through Buckner.

There is something about seeing a picture of a child in need. Seeing the faces of so many a large screen, cut through me through the events this weekend. Once again I was reminded of the so many children I have met these past few years in ministry….most through Buckner. Their faces flashed before me on screen and in my mind. And then the images in my head stopped on this little girl pictured above. I photographed her on my first mission trip to Romania almost four years ago.

In many ways, my journey in missions started with this child. The look in her eyes still haunts me now. Her picture hangs in the office as a reminder of where I have been, where I am going, and how great the need is out there with these children. Just as we are encouraged through Buckner, that serves so many least of these in need, we are ALL called to Go…to Be…and to Do. Go somewhere. Be a voice. Do something.

I have always felt her eyes spoke through the picture as if to say, "Help me...Please."

Matthew 28:19 Therefore GO and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Alex

2009-04-21T09:32:00.004-05:00

As I felt the sun beaming down on my face, my toes slowly crunched up and sank as deep as they could in the warm sand. I looked around. It was beautiful. I imagined what the Garden of Eden looked like as I wondered if it was close to this. St. Lucia was gorgeous.

We had a wonderful honeymoon and were blessed with the opportunity of being able to get away with some time to relax and have a lot of fun. It was like paradise for us with the breathtaking views, the magnificent sunsets, and time to enjoy what the Lord has created in an island far away.

On the beach, we were approached by many Rastafarians. Many of them selling crafts they made or wanted you to think they made. Some offering to sell us less than legal means of recreation. Some were high…all were friendly and fun to talk with each day. Out of all of them, there is one that I have thought of everyday since my return, one that made my heart shed a tear.

His name is Alex. He wasn’t necessary a Rasta, but was a beach salesman. He walked the beaches selling pure Aloe Vera. He hoped each day for sun and beach goers with burns so his business would flourish. He stopped and talked with us for a bit. We talked with him about quite a few things for some time. He had a tattoo of a large spider on his arm and was telling us about it. He had gotten it at a very young age..a child really. Then he told us about the burn on his arm. “Branding?” I asked. I assumed it was some cultural ritual or something associated with a group he belonged to. “No, I was sitting around one night feeling sad about my friend dying, you know? I just started taking my joint and burning my arm.” Wow…the pain that was hidden underneath his tough exterior.

I felt bad for him. I wondered what potential his life held. I know it is more than getting high and walking the beach all day long. I hesitated to tell him that our hotel gave all guests a free bottle of Aloe. That was probably why he wasn’t selling much on our beach. He wasn’t aware of that and said he was off to another beach where he would have a better chance of selling. Off he went in search of another beach…in search of things his spirit longed for but will never find here on earth.

I wish I could write about what a great witness I was to Alex. I wish I could tell you that I sat him down and shared the Gospel with him. I wish I could tell you that his life was changed by something I did or said that day. I am ashamed to say I didn’t reach out like I probably should have. That night I felt guilty. I worried about Alex and wondered why I didn’t witness to him in some way.

Was it God answering my prayer to quiet me when I need it and to speak only when He feels I should? Or was it me passing up an opportunity …the Lord finding me unwilling to do His work that day. Sadly, I’m guessing it was the second of the two.

I ask you to say a prayer for Alex today. The least I can do now is to bless him in that way today as you read this. Please pray for this young St. Lucian boy. Pray he sees the One who died for him, the One who loves him, and the One who can heal his pain in a way he won’t find here on earth.

It isn’t the first time I have missed an opportunity and probably won’t be the last. I share it with you so you can be reminded to ask the Lord find you willing to do his work and that together we can reach all the Alex types out there. They are out there searching and it is up to us to respond when we come across them in our lives each day.

Wedding Picture

2009-04-20T12:37:00.003-05:00

I'm Back...

2009-04-13T08:03:00.001-05:00

Much has happened in the last few weeks. Months and months of planning came down to one day..a big day..the wedding day. It was beautiful. On March 28th, I married the love of my life in a ceremony where we felt Him walking side by side with us into the church, down the aisle, and standing before us as we said our vows. It was a great day.

I am now officially living in Texas. After a wonderful honeymoon in St. Lucia (see photo) we packed up the rest of my apartment and headed south for a long day of driving. Now, our new life begins.

As I left my apartment for the last time, I paused and said a quick prayer. “Lord, please bless the next person who lives here as much as you did me while I lived here.” That apartment held many memories. The person I am was not the person that moved in there a few years ago. As I shut the door to it that last time, I opened the door to another adventure.

Phil and I sat in church on Easter morning celebrating the fact that the Lord who took the time to guide the paths of a guy from Texas and a girl from Illinois together, is also the One who conquered death and rose from the grave. I stand in awe of the way He works and the many ways he blesses us.

I will post a few wedding pictures as soon as I can. Thanks for checking on the blog while I was away. I will be back to regular posts as soon. Right now I am unpacking and getting ready for a celebration of the wedding with our friends here in Dallas this weekend.

Almost Mrs

2009-03-24T18:39:00.003-05:00

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ~William Lyon Phelps

On Saturday, March 28th 2009 at 3:30 in the afternoon, Phil and I will be married! I can hardly believe it is almost here. It has been a year in the making, and we are so excited. Only a few more days, and then I will be Mrs. Brinkmeyer.

We are very busy getting the details in order and getting those loose ends tied up before Saturday.

We feel so very blessed and appreciate you all!

The Greatest of These is Love

2009-03-19T02:19:00.001-05:00

With the wedding fast approaching, love is on my mind a lot these days. I am so thankful for the Lord’s written teaching that of the three things remaining (Faith, Hope, and Love), the greatest is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13) What a gift!

I recently saw a video of two otters holding hands. It's the sweetest video. Here is a link below. Make sure you watch until the very end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno&NR=1

When it's time to change....

2009-03-12T13:45:00.003-05:00

John Maxwell once said, “When it comes to change, there are three seasons of timing: People change when they hurt enough they have to, when they learn enough that they want to, and when they receive enough that they are able to.”

As I sit eating my lunch, at a desk that has never looked so clean or so empty at work, I ponder the many changes that are about to take place in my life. I sit, eat, and oddly have that song from the Brady Bunch playing in my head. You know the one. “When it’s time to change..you’ve got to rearrange.” Yes, Peter’s voice is even cracking in the rendition in my mind. Tomorrow is my last day at work. I have been at WDLM Radio for 3.5 years. It amazes me at how when I walk out the door for the last time as an employee, I will walk through the door a different person than I walked in on my first day in 2005. It’s time to change and to rearrange.

In looking at the quote above, I think I would fall in the “learned enough they want to change” group. I have many changes coming. Name change, career change, house change, climate change, becoming a Texan as well as a wife! It seems my identity is completely changing at times. Change definitely tends to give us anxious feelings. The cool thing is that I have learned a lot the past few years, and I am looking at this whole experience in a positive more than anxious way.

One of the biggest things I have learned is that we were created to be defined by who we are through Christ…not by our jobs, family, friends, etc. If you can reach a point where you realize who you are through Christ, the rest in life will fall into place and it gives you a confidence and peace. It becomes clear that who you are is more about the One you are meant to live this life serving.

I have learned enough that I want to change because I have faith in where He leads me, I’ve seen the Lord’s hand in this change, have prayed about it, and know He has an amazing plan in it all. Does that make it easy to say goodbye to friends? Nope. Does that make it easy to live so far from my family that I love so dearly? No way. But it does make it easier and is helping me to make the transitions.

I will leave WDLM on March 13th, 2009. On June 22nd, 2009, I will start a new position for Fishers of Men Ministries based in the Quad Cities. FOM is a wonderful ministry that runs an orphanage in Kenya, Africa. I will be working in an office out of my home on ministry development, fund raising, and leading short term mission trips with them. I will take all that I have learned in my 28 years to this new ministry and begin a new adventure in serving Him and the least of these. I am so excited to see what the Lord has in store!

With only 16 days until our wedding, I am busy packing, attending to details, finishing up work, etc. My stomach still does flips when I think about the next few weeks. A big smile comes to my face when I think about becoming Phil’s wife. I am so blessed to be marrying such an amazing man. He is an answer to many prayers that have been sent above, and I look forward to our future together. It’s hard to believe the big day is almost here and I am feeling blessed, humbled, and very excited.

Line = Queue = Order

2009-03-02T05:43:00.002-06:00

I was once in line at an airport in London. I was going through customs and was anxiously feeling as if the line was not moving fast enough for me to catch my next flight. An approaching man must have felt the same way. Although, instead of waiting patiently, he did what would be the unforgivable in most elementary lunch lines. He “Cut”.

The airline officials saw this and immediately approached him in front of everyone. “What part of a queue do you not understand?” They firmly asked. That was the question we all wanted to yell at the man. What part of standing in line did he not get? Was he not human? Everyone understands you have to stand in line. Immediately they made him go to the end of the line and told him to get back in the queue (British word meaning “line”). Justice was served and order was restored.

About a year ago, I went to a visitation. The line to view the deceased was so long it wrapped around the inside of the building several times and was even overflowing onto the sidewalk outside. I got out of my car and walked up to the end of the line. I didn’t ask questions. I just took my place in line. When the person in front of me moved foward..so did I. I stood in that line for over an hour. When the person in front of me moved, that was my signal that I was to move as well. No questions asked.

It was a long line, and I guess I had nothing better to do than to analyze how weird it was that I wasn’t questioning where the line was going or if I was even in the right line to begin with. I just instinctively saw a line nearby and jumped into it and was confident I would get to where I needed to go.

The unspoken rules and value we place in the line principle are pretty universal (unless you are driving in Bucharest, Romania!). You get in the line and watch the person in front of you and follow them. Many times you can’t see your destination but you usually have faith that by following the person directly ahead, you will eventually get there.

Black Friday is a great example of the faith we put in lines. When ready to check out, the line is usually at the back of the store. You find the end of the line of people looking tired and frustrated, and you just join it. You may need to ask, “Is this the line?” because you can’t see the registers. Otherwise, no more questions are needed. You stand there and trust that by following the person in front of you, you will get to your desired destination.

Lines give us order. We are taught at a very young age that participating in them, is not only the socially acceptable way to live, but the only way to live. We do this in some way each and everyday of our lives. It is what we have found as the only way to live. How could we survive otherwise?

I often give thanks during prayers to the Lord for being with me each day. I’m not sure I could survive without Him in my life. I can’t imagine life without Him. Each day, I put one foot in front of the other and move throughout this life. Lines amaze me and have got me to thinking. What if we had the kind of faith and value we put in lines as we did in following the Lord? What if we jumped in His line behind Him? With every move He made, we followed? I can’t help but wonder how my life would be different if I jumped in line behind Him with that kind of faith and with no questions asked.

Why do we follow strangers in a line with no second thought, but struggle to follow the Lord in His line when we are promised it’s what is good for us. Imagine the order we would have in life if we did this with the second nature way we do in everyday lines in life. What part of getting in queue with God are we not getting? Maybe we are just like that rude man in the airport and need to be set straight. God’s order is like no other. Let us all jump in line behind Him and reap the benefits. Line= Queue= Order.

A Trip To The Court House

2009-02-23T13:36:00.004-06:00

Well..it happened. Standing next to a very tall handsome man on a cool winter day, I raised my right hand and repeated words after the county clerk employee. We answered many questions and signed on the dotted line. The result..we have our marriage license and can now legally and officially get married! This picture is us at the Henry County court house just after we received that piece of paper.

We are closing in on the one month mark away from the wedding. Time has really flown by. We have received wonderful words of advice from many friends and family. Here are a few that a co-worker printed off for me that I thought were funny.

“Spend all of your time loving instead of going to work.” --Tom, Age 7
“Don’t forget your wife’s name..That will mess up the love.” - -Erin, Age 6
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” - -Randy, Age 8

Here are more words of wisdom we have received:

“Never go to bed angry”
“Hold hands as much as possible”
“Kiss for at least 20 seconds each day”
“Compromise is key in marriage”
“Always be a forgiver”
“Make a choice to love each other each and every day.”
“Make God your number one priority.”

We look forward to putting those suggestions to good use. If you have any positive words of advice to add, please do. I’ll put them in our wedding book.

Faith That Moves Mountains

2009-02-11T12:43:00.011-06:00

This week, I opened my Bible and stumbled upon a verse in Matthew (17:20). We are told that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. That is pretty remarkable…moving mountains. Let’s face it; I have trouble scooting my couch away from the wall to sweep underneath it occasionally. Moving a mountain..on my own? Does this require those space mover plastic discs that are “As Seen on TV” early in the morning? If so, I might be able to act now and get a second set free for only the cost of shipping!

(Fact: The average mustard seed is about one sixteenth of an inch in diameter.)

After hearing him speak, I read a book by a well known pastor (and ex-pro football player). In Dr. Ken Hutcherson’s book, “Enough Faith” he explains the concept of the mustard seed verse well. "It’s not how much faith you possess, or how big your faith might be that matters. And it’s not your credentials that matter, either. What matters is knowing about the authority you have in Jesus Christ and then putting that authority into action. Go forward with confidence, my brother, my sister, because you have all the faith you need."

This makes me think our dear friend, David. Remember him? He stood before a giant with only a sling shot and a handful of stones. Goliath might as well have been a mountain. Compared to David, he was practically impossible to go up against. He towered over him. Did his voice rattle the ear drums of the small harp playing boy we know as David? I wonder if the ground shook with each step Goliath took towards him. Did Goliath’s breath feel like gusts of wind on David’s face? Maybe. It doesn’t really matter though. David didn’t let anything bother or intimidate him. David was armed with the authority of Christ..and he knew it. That giant crumbled before him. All because he moved forward with courage to go for it. All because he had the faith to move that mountain.

Have you ever had one of those moments? One where you feel you are standing before a mountain, a giant, a monster, or what seems to be the impossible? I have. Maybe you are going through that right now.

I was recently talking with someone about a situation that seemed impossible to be worked out. I found myself saying the words, “You know, if He can raise people from the dead, He can definitely work something like this out. Nothing is impossible with God.” I was reminded with the authority of Christ, the impossible is possible. My faith continues to go on. It is a work in progress just like every other part of me but is at very least the size of that mustard seed. And with that…I know I can move mountains. I believe it and am thankful for it. I thought I would share my thoughts on it this week. If you are going through a trial, challenge, or having feelings of hopelessness in some area of life, hear His promise to us. We can move mountains. Claim that, and go forward!

Behind the Scenes

2009-02-02T14:26:00.004-06:00

This past Sunday, I was given the opportunity to speak at a church in my area about the needs of orphan children in our world. Getting to the point where I displayed the first slide on the screen was not as easy as I had thought it would be. The week prior, I felt a flu bug coming on. My computer even had to make a stop to the Geek Squad on the Friday before. As I stood in front of the church and saw the children’s faces up on the big screen, I realized the battle against the enemy had been won. The attempts to keep me from speaking had failed. God was at work behind the scene, and my prayers had been answered.

I met some really wonderful people at the church that invited me to speak. One man in particular came up to me with a story that left me with chills.

I have a friend who was once a missionary doctor in Africa. He lived and worked far out in the middle of a distant village. Every so often he would ride his bike to the nearest town to buy needed supplies. The bicycle ride to town took two days, and he would make a tent to sleep in with a box that he carried on this bike. One day he took off towards town to get the supplies. He bought the supplies and made a camp site in a remote place on his way back home. The next morning, he got up and started on his way home.

While riding, he saw something on the side of the road. It was a man…a very injured man. He stopped and attended to this suffering person. The injured man looked up, and said, “Please don’t help me.” The man explained to the doctor that he didn’t deserve to be helped by him. When the doctor asked him why, the man explained. “My friends and I had seen you in town and had followed you yesterday. We waited until you had time to set up your camp and would be asleep. We were going to rob you. When we got to your camp, there were 14 armed men standing around you. We got sacred and ran away. I was going to rob you, I don’t deserve for you to help me.”

The doctor was amazed. He was traveling alone. He knew the armed guards surrounding his tent must have been angels sent from above. He helped the man on the road and returned home. When he returned home, he called back to the US. He called his friend and told him what happened. The friend went silent and asked him what time of day this attempt at robbery happened. The friend here in the US explained that his own sleep was interrupted by a feeling of need to pray for protection for his missionary friend in Africa. The feeling was so strong that he called more friends to join him in praying. This all happened the exact time the doctor was about to be robbed.

Can you guess how many men that friend called to join him in praying for protection for the missionary? You got it…13! Remember..the robber said that fourteen armed men protected the missionary as he slept.

As the hair on my arm settled back into place, I was reminded of something so important. There are battles going on around us behind the scene each day that we don’t or sometimes cannot see. The Lord is so gracious to take care of us in ways we will never comprehend or know. He does it for the missionaries and soldiers on foreign soil, and He does it in each of our lives here while we go about our daily routine. He amazes me. He helps, heals, fights for, and loves us even when we don’t deserve it. God is good.

Ordinary to Extrordinary

2009-01-25T21:15:00.001-06:00

I was recently reminded of a probable conversation that happened in the Bible. It went something like this:

God: “I need you do so some big things”
Moses: “Who Me? Not ME! Lord, I have nothing and am not equipped. You should pick someone else”
God: “I want to use YOU. What have you got there in your hand?”
Moses: “I have a stick. It is all that I have.”
God: “Okay. If you give me that stick, I will use it AND you.”

I imagined putting myself in that conversation today. I challenge you to do the same. Maybe you are thinking:
“What do you have in mind, Lord?”
“Well, that depends on what it will cost me, Lord.”
“Why me?”
“I have nothing. You should definitely pick someone else who is better equipped for the job.”

Sometimes we think of men and women in the Bible and hold them at a level higher than that of ourselves. I often forget about how many of the remarkable characters were not so extraordinary to start with. They were sinners just like us. Some were tax collectors, outcasts, misfits, and criminals. Some were the poorest of poor. The Lord used them and took them from ordinary to extraordinary.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how He calls us all to do his work. Maybe He calls us all at the level He called all those amazing characters in the Bible. Maybe their stories made it in the Bible only because they said yes when He called.

I imagined what my personal response would be. “Lord, I have nothing and am not equipped for your work. I only have these two hands. Take them. Use them. Use me.”

Please realize He is calling each and every one of us. Right now, in fact. He wants to use us for extraordinary things..bigger things than we can even imagine. We just have to be willing. If you want a sign, you reading this IS your sign. He is asking..and waiting for your answer. Are you willing to give Him the stick in your hand? Are you willing to give Him your hands? Today is the day. What will your answer be?

Dacian

2009-01-19T08:14:00.003-06:00

I believe God intertwines the paths of people for a purpose. Sometimes we are blessed with the knowledge of it happening and what comes from it. Other times we are not. Three years ago my path crossed with someone a world away from the place I call home. I was born and raised in a small town in Illinois. He was born in a part of the world I hadn’t really known existed until a few years ago.

His name is Dacian. The first time our paved journeys made contact, I didn’t get to know him well. Thankfully, the Lord gave me another chance. Sometimes we are given opportunities in life that we would not normally get on our own, but because they are orchestrated by God, it happens and we are so very blessed. Only because of this, Daci soon became someone I now call, “friend.”

I have seen him in times of joy. I have seen him in times of trial. I have seen him persevere through unfair attacks in life. I have seen him shine through it all. He has taught me how to keep faith in times of not understanding the Lord’s plan and how through no matter what, to give thanks that God is in control. I have learned so much from him.

Daci doesn’t have an easy job. He is the country director for Buckner in Romania. He makes decisions everyday on how to best meet the needs of so many orphans and poor children in Romania. Each day he sees children living in conditions many here have only read about or seen on TV. Many of these children look up to him like a hero. He is blessed by living in a beautiful country, but in one that has challenges and limitations that we cannot imagine. This is a guy who wears many hats. Two of his most important roles are that of a husband and father. He has lots of pink in his future as they are expecting another daughter on the way this summer! I have never seen his face light up more than when he talks about his family.

In times of economic hardship, we all tend to get anxious about money and security. Things are no different in Romania. Imagine working with orphan children everyday and realizing if people don’t give out of their pockets and the kindness of their hearts even more than ever, the wonderful children you work with will have no place to go. They will receive no meal, no clothing, no education, no spiritual nourishment, and no warmth of a hug from a loving caregiver. These are desperate times for these precious children.

His job is not easy. (Yes, this is the second time I said that.) He has had opportunities to take the easy way out, the less stressful careers, or the higher paying jobs, but he continues to serve the Lord where the Lord tells him to serve. He has remained faithful and is a good man. He has lot on his plate. So, I ask you for a favor. I ask you to pray for my brother and friend today. I introduced you to him so you know who he is and that the children he serves need our help. If you would be so kind, please lift this man, his family, his programs, and his many children up in prayer today. If you want to make a difference in the life of an orphan child, it can start right now with that prayer.

The Door

2009-01-14T06:00:00.003-06:00

Phil and I recently had our engagement pictures taken. It was fun. We opted for an “urban” photo shoot as opposed to the traditional pictures in the park or in a studio. We were really pleased at how they turned out. I like this picture here. It isn’t my favorite of all we had taken, but I really like it. I couldn’t figure out why until today. Is it the colors? Maybe. Is it because it is different from the others we had taken? Maybe, but those explanations didn’t seem to stop my head from tilting to the side and my face making that puzzled look each time I gazed at it. What is it about this picture?

Finally, I flipped through and stopped on this picture, and it came to me. I think this picture is symbolic. Here we are hanging out by this door. No one really knows for sure what is on the other side…I certainly don’t. I could take an educated guess, and it might be close. However, I’m not certain what is on the other side.

The journey through that door could offer us many things. Obviously, there are things on the other side that cost money. There are indications of that on the door. There is also a sign that says, “No Smoking.” Think back to the cartoons you watched as a child. Remember when a character would take off running fast? Smoke would come off the character’s feet. Maybe this sign is a sign to say “Don't go running through this door so fast you start smoking..take your time!” Okay, I know it’s just a sign to inform everyone smoking cigarettes is not allowed, but that image of smoking feet keeps playing in my mind.

What IS on the other side of that door? My guess is that if we were to have gone through that door, the next action after this picture was taken would be for Phil to reach his long arm down to help me up. He would probably make sure I was steady on my feet before taking me by the hand and moving forward. No, not just because I am wearing heeled boots in the winter, there could be ice on the other side, or just because I generally tend to be clumsy and am known to trip...A LOT. He always makes sure my feet are steady before we move on.. in more ways than one in life.

When I looked at this picture today, a verse came to mind. “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Luke 11:9).

I think this picture is symbolic of our journey ahead. The door, scuffed much like our lives tend to get in our journey through this world, is just asking to be knocked on. Our Lord is on the other side waiting for us to answer. Phil and I will be married in just over a couple months. We don’t know what doors will be opened for us in the future. We don’t know what is on the other side of many of them. I pray we will do our best to not run so fast through them that our feet create a cloud of smoke. And I am guessing he may need to hold my hand and guide me through many. I think this picture is a cool reminder that the door is always there. He is always there waiting. Waiting for us to ask so He can give. Waiting for us to seek so He can show. Waiting for us to knock so He can open that door.

Who knows what’s behind that door? He does and has a great plan for any of us who ask to go through it. May you ask, seek, and knock on that door you are standing in front of today.

Soar Like An Eagle

2009-01-10T18:03:00.004-06:00

I was driving the other day and saw something on the side of the road that caught my eye. It took me a second to realize what it was. It was a bald eagle. Never mind the fact it was scavenging on a dead animal, this bird was beautiful. As my car got closer, the bird perked up and flew away.

He was breathtaking. He stretched his wings and soared into the sky over the snow covered corn field. What a picture! I wondered what it would be like to fly so freely. Immediately, my mind went to Isaiah 40:31.

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Recently, I have gotten back into the daily routine of devotion. Boy, have I missed it, and am glad I’m back to where I should be in those few minutes each day. It reminds me everyday of the areas I need His help in, His guidance in, His wisdom in, His Grace in, and the Hope we can all have through Him.

The timing of me getting back to this is good. During this time in my life, I am preparing for many changes. In just a few short months, I will be getting married, moving, starting a new career, and starting a new life as a married woman. Each day my apartment changes bit by bit. A piece of furniture is sold and moved out. A box of this and that gets packed and ready to go. Things are changing. In some ways, I am very curious about those changes. Since I am a control freak, I of course want to know exactly what all those changes in the future will look like and how things will go. Will all the wedding details be flawless? Will I be packed in time? Will I transition into the role of a wife AND Texan well? Will Godly people be put in my path there? Will I be working exactly where the Lord wants to work through me? I’m pretty confident to say I think the answer to all those questions is, “Yes.” Why? Because I am doing all I can to prepare for it, praying about it, and most importantly…I have hope in the Lord.

No matter what is on your mind, what you are planning for, what you are questioning, or what you are trying to figure out, remember one thing. Those who hope in the Lord will soar just like that Eagle flying high in the sky with beauty and grace. May we all remember His promise of this and take that flight.

Bowl of Roses

2009-01-07T19:23:00.007-06:00

Alright, I have a bone to pick. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about celebrations. However, recently I flipped the channel over to a holiday tradition being broadcasted on television. It’s a lavish event…spectacular even. The Rose Bowl Parade.

So, let me get this straight. All floats are required to be made of flowers and flower material. I have heard the average float contains about 100,000 blooms. The average float costs around $250,000. That is just one float. Millions of people stand by to watch these creations drive by. They clap, cheer, and stand in awe as they enjoy the feeling they get by being entertained by dead flowers pasted on wheels. In America, we call this entertainment.

I often wonder what those in third world countries think of us Americans. Do they look to us with admiration as if we are royalty since we live so extravagantly? Do they look at us with anger seeing how we live fully having the knowledge they are out there starving?

In Ethiopia, many work day and night for a wage of $0.50 to $1.00 a day. I’ve seen them. They are so hungry and so hopeful that one day help will come. I guess that is why I get a bit irritated with the parade. Those I have seen are human just like you and me. For whatever reason we were born here and they were born there. Why? I don’t know. I do know that if I were in their shoes, I would want people to spend money on coming to help me than I would have it being spent on flowers to cover a float. I’ll admit, while watching the parade for the brief time I did, I felt a bit defeated. I try hard to bring forth the need of the least of these and the importance and urgency of that need. Watching float after float prance by while the crowd clapped, made me feel sick and like I had fallen behind in the battle.

I can’t deny that the floats are absolutely beautiful. However, do we really think it is ok to spend millions of dollars on chopped up flowers when there are children dying from illnesses that would be prevented or treated with our pocket change?

I probably shouldn’t take it personally. No one means to personally offend me by it. However, I do. These people who are suffering are my friends, my brothers and sisters, my children, and as Christ tells us in the book of Matthew….HIM.

I couldn’t help but see visions of schools being built with each float that passed. Imagine if we just took the money that was put into those floats and put them into the hands of those who really need it. Food, education, shelter, etc. How much do we as a society value human life if we let children starve to death in the streets in one part of the world, while we waste money on pretty floats to just enjoy for a brief moment in time? Am I the only one that thinks we are missing it in a BIG way? Most days, I am proud to be an American. However, this was one of those times that I was less than proud of how we do things in life.

The Start of a New Shelf

2009-01-05T12:46:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year! 2008 is officially done and a new year has begun. I find it exciting to think of the possibilities that lie ahead. This year could be full of so many things. Our minds cannot even fathom the potential blessings that He has awaiting us.

I had a wonderful Christmas. This was my first Christmas celebration of many with my future husband. I am left with a feeling of great thankfulness for the time we had to celebrate. My family was all together to gather for those traditional events, meals, and activities. It was nice. The snow was beautiful on Christmas Eve, and we even had some new additions to our celebration that night. We made new friends that are a part of the African Refugees here in the QC area. They are from Burundi, and we just fell in love with them!! Above is a picture from the evening.

One of my favorite moments of Christmas this year was on Christmas Eve. As we stood in the candlelight of the church, I looked around. To my left, was a new friend. A mother from Africa doing all that she can to provide for her family here in the US. With her baby wrapped on her back, she held a candle in one hand while softly trying to sing a Christmas song in a language not her own. On my left hip was a petite little girl. Her head was heavy as she was tired from a full tummy and an evening of play. As I gently tried to hoist her up on my hip, the hot wax from my own candle dripped onto my hand with each move I made. She was falling asleep as we all sang Silent Night. To my right, was my niece with her new young African friend as well. They both stood so still holding their candles. They felt so grown up being trusted with it. Delainey with her fare skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, stood next to her new friend with dark skin, long black braids, and dark eyes. In the candlelight they looked like two little angels standing side by side. I was so proud of them. Next to them was my fiancé, the man whom I will spend the rest of my life loving. He too watched over the little girls and sang along in the candlelight. I snuck looks of him out of the corner of my eye and was almost breathless thinking about what an incredible man he is. Across the church, I saw the rest of my immediate family, all singing and enjoying the moment. I realized how in many ways, they have blessed me in ways I have not deserved. My church family surrounded the sanctuary in a circle. Circle of love…A Circle of Thanksgiving…A Circle of Light.

Christmas Eve was a wonderful memory that has been written in the books and placed at the end of the shelf labeled “2008” in the library of my mind. It was part of a special end to a great year. I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for the almost empty shelf of “2009.”

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:11-13

Year End Review

2008-12-22T18:00:00.002-06:00

As I look back on this year, I shake my head. Much has happened. I am in disbelief. Where did the time go? It seems just like yesterday I was posing for the camera with my nieces on Christmas Eve 2007. In what seems like a blink of an eye, one year has pasted.

Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me. I had no idea that I would become the fiancé of an amazing man this year. I would have never guessed I’d be making plans to move to the grand state of Texas. How did it all happen?

Phil and I often ask each other the question, “How did we get here,” in an awe like tone of how the Lord has worked in our lives this year. How did we get here? One day at a time, I guess. During those one day at a time moments in life, I laughed, I cried, I learned, and walked away with a cup overflowing more than ever before.

Here are some random things (in random order) that I learned in those one day at a time moments this year:

-Palm Trees in February cure the winter blues.
-There is ACTUALLY a Cubs player named, Fukudome. It’s not a joke or something inappropriate the crowd is yelling at the other team.
-Falling in Love when you least expect it, is out of control and well worth it
-Falling on ice can be prevented by wearing shoes without heels
-Falling while wearing tennis shoes can be prevented by watching where you walk
-Orange Julius Milkshakes can be used to change your life in an instant
-God hears our prayers…especially the ones we have prayed year after year.
-Phil’s movie nights are the best nights
-“Hot Cross Buns” has nothing to do with hot dogs (It took me 28 years to realize this)
-True friends are not something I take for granted
-Jail time in Ethiopia isn’t really all that bad. (Mom & Dad..it’s ok to laugh at this one)
-Dinner of Pepto Bismol and white rice was one of the best meals this year.
-Opportunities to serve are opportunities of a lifetime
-Surprise birthday brownies with a candle are the sweetest thing
-Black Currant Fanta is by far the best kind of soft drink ever
-Family is one of the greatest gifts in life
-Africa is a part of who I am
-The feeling of being right where I am supposed to be is one of the greatest feelings ever
-Roses…and lots of them…really make me smile
-Hearing the question, “Will you Marry Me?” from the most wonderful man alive is something I will never forget
-Seeing and Hearing The Lord in so many ways has once again changed me forever

I could go on and on. There seems to be a never ending list in my head that unravels scroll upon scroll of memories, lessons, and blessings.

The Lord has answered so many of my prayers this year. Some were the kind that were softly spoken as I drifted off to sleep. Some were about simple things. Some were those things heavy on my heart. Some where prayers that had been uttered, whispered, and even pleaded for in the years that led up to this one. Some were through tears as my knees hit the floor with my head bowed. Answered. Every one of them was answered. Some didn’t get answered the way I had hoped for. Some were answered in such a magnificent way, I hadn’t even imagined of asking for. However, all of them were heard, and all of them were answered in a way that was better than I knew to request.

My year end review is that I think this was the best year of my life ever. It went by fast though, just as time is known to do. Maybe time really does fly by when you are having fun. God is good.

Merry Christmas!!

Walking the Path Before Us

2008-12-17T09:57:00.001-06:00

In one 5th grade class in Rock Island, the students were given an assignment. What was it? It was an assignment to write about the person they thought was the “nicest person” they have met. Would you believe that one of those students wrote about me? Crazy, I know!

The cool thing, and the reason I am blogging about it, is that one morning I was feeling a bit down. You know those days where you are just feeling like everything you touch falls apart, and you just can’t do anything right? That was the morning I got a call from a precious, soft spoken, sweet voiced, 5th grader named Taylor.

I have spoken at Taylor’s school a few times about mission work and orphan ministry. As I listened to her on the phone that day, I realized something. God knew I was going to have a bad day in the days that led up to that phone call. Did he prompt her to write about me because he knew I would need to hear that just days later? Maybe so!

He works in amazing ways and this just reminding me that He really does walk our path before us. He sees what is coming and sets it up to care for us long before we get there. Taylor’s paper brought such a smile to my face that day. The reminder that God is always taking care of things on the road before we get there, completely warmed my heart on that cold winter day.

Who Do You Worship?

2008-12-15T06:00:00.000-06:00

I just received a computer program that organizes my finances. It has a feature in which you categorize each check you write. That way, at any given time, you can tell where you are spending the most of your money. I’ll admit, I was reluctant to install it at first. I was afraid what I might see.

My fiancé and I were just talking recently about finances and money. We were talking about how as a society, it really is so easy to get wrapped up into “things”. Phil said just that day a speaker he heard made a statement such as, “I have more things in my kitchen than many people will own in their life.” I think most of us would qualify as being able to say that statement truthfully as well. The picture above is one of a typical home in the slums of Kenya. This puts things into perspective for me.

Billy Graham once said, “A Checkbook is a theological document, it will tell you who and what you worship.”

Take a look at your checkbook today. Is it telling you who or what you worship? Something to think about.

WWJD?

2008-12-11T15:18:00.001-06:00

With the Christmas holiday approaching, we are all trying to figure out when to have celebrations, dinners, parties, etc. There are many decisions to be made. What kind of food will be served? Which social circles and family members will be invited to each gathering? Christmas is special, and time where we all tend to spend with those closest to us.

It is the most celebrated holiday of the year. The birth of Jesus is a pretty big event to be celebrating! Each year, my family has Christmas Eve dinner and then goes to our church’s candlelight service. I really enjoy the service. It is a time where I reflect how blessed I am and am filled with thankfulness.

However, each year Christmas Eve, more than any day of the year, is the hardest for me. I am a bundle of mixed emotions. I find myself standing in the candlelight overwhelmed with thanksgiving for the gift of the Savior’s birth and all the blessings I have been given that year. There is also an overwhelming weight on my shoulders as well though. I can’t stop thinking about all the children I have met that are in orphanages. There are so many. Their faces flash before me. They are alone…cold…and sad. It feels like a knife in the heart.

Why am I here and they are there? Why do I get the blessing of a warm home and loving family and they don’t? Why do I stand and celebrate with a full stomach and gifts under the tree? They have nothing. As I light my candle this year, I will do it in honor of all those blessings I have received: Good Health, Provision, Family, Friends, loved ones, and salvation. I will also light it in honor of and in prayer for those precious children who sit and wait all year for a family. Those ones who on Christmas morning will be looking out a frosty window pain longing for a loving mother to wrap their arms around them so tightly the love just pours from her heart to theirs. That is what they want for Christmas. Instead, they will wake up on Christmas morning and realize it’s just another ordinary day. A day of waiting, dreaming, and begging for food.

What will they do at Christmas? What will the least of these in our own backyard do? What would Jesus do?

In Luke (14 12-14) we are told that Jesus said, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."

I have found this to be very convicting when it comes to our celebrations for the holidays. Let’s face it, how often do any of us invite the least of these to our sacred celebrations. We ARE celebrating the birth of Christ, right? Who else do you think He would want us to celebrate with? He DID tell us when we care for the least of these, we are caring for Him. So why just invite our friends and family to our celebrations?? He came here to show us how to live, how to love, and how to get to heaven. What better way to honor Him on his birthday than to celebrate with those closest to His heart..the least of these.

After learning of the large population of African Refugees in the Quad City area, we decided to invite a Refugee family to our Christmas Eve celebration. These refugees, many who came here with only the clothes on their backs, have been through so much. They are so thankful to be here and to be safe. They have so little and are in such need for basic things. One young man from the Congo told me that he is so thankful to be here because when he walks down the street, he no longer fears being shot to death. Some have watched their entire villages and families be shot and killed in tribal violence. One woman came here with bullets embedded in her legs from running from the rebel attackers. Instead of complaining, they give thanks for just being here and being alive.

And to think, some have nowhere to go for Christmas. Some have no food in the cupboards to feed their families. They are here, and are in need of family…brothers and sisters in Christ. So, my family is going to do something a little different this year. We are inviting one of those families into our home to celebrate together. I encourage you to do the same. If you are interested, let me know and I can get you some information. If you aren’t from the QC area, I encourage you to do something similar wherever you live. Maybe you have a neighbor who will be alone at Christmas. Maybe you know of a family in your community that could use a little light in their world this holiday. I encourage you to re-read that verse above. Pray about it and see how the Lord prompts you to respond. Try something new this year, and do exactly what He tells us to do in the message found in Luke.

Try it, enjoy, and let me know how it goes.

What Will Your Answer Be?

2008-12-09T06:00:00.001-06:00

Cowardice asks the question, “Is it safe?” Expedience asks the question, “Is it popular?” But conscience asks the question, “Is it right?” And there comes a time when one must take a position, neither safe nor popular, but one must take it because it is right. -Martin Luther King

Have you ever been in one of those situations? Having a gut feeling about what you should do, but feeling the pressure of giving in because it isn’t the popular or safest thing to do? It’s not an easy place to be in life. We have probably all been there. Maybe you didn’t take that certain job offer because you didn’t think they offered you enough money. You thought it wouldn’t be safe for your financial well-being. Maybe you felt like you should serve in missions overseas, but didn’t think it was safe to fly over the ocean. Maybe you laughed a racist joke at work because not laughing would have been unpopular. Maybe you picked a career that was acceptable to others instead of doing what you felt called to.

Doing what’s right can be a difficult place to be in. It can be uncomfortable, awkward, and even feel lonely at times. Thinking back, I realize, I have never regretted going with the gut feeling He has given me about things. I can also recall times I was a coward or did what was popular and chickened out when it came to listening to my conscience. Then there are those times, when we just don’t know what direction to go in. Maybe the fog is so thick you can’t even see what direction is the right way to go.

I believe intuition is a gift from God, and I believe that is one way He speaks to us. He tells us what is right and many times speaks to our souls to give us guidance. He speaks to us in many ways. He speaks to us through others. He speaks through His word. He speaks through dreams and visions. He speaks to us while we pray. Amazing isn’t it? The catch is…we have to be listening. We have to be watching. We have to be reading His word. Sometimes we have to ask for it…and yes, we have to be praying.

Brace yourself. A Loaded question is about to come…..

What is your purpose in life?

(I’m going to ask that question again, because someone reading this right now needs to hear it again.)

What is your purpose in life?

Have you thought about that? Why were you put here? Are you living your life to the potential the Lord has for you? Are you fulfilling your purpose in this life on earth? Are you doing what He placed you here to do? If the answer is no or you aren’t sure..go back up to the quote above. Are those obstacles standing in your way?

We all have a purpose here. We do. That part is simple. However, finding that purpose can be a bit more tricky. Know this…The Lord is standing by ready to show you. He is waiting for you to ask. He is waiting for you to go for it and to see how amazing life can be once you find it. Listen and watch for Him. He has amazing and extraordinary things for us ordinary people to do and will even give you all the skills to do them. Are you willing to say yes? Are you willing to do what is right? He won’t let you down. He is in control, has your best interest at heart, and stands waiting for you to respond. Will you say yes or will you say no? What will your answer be?

There is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure. -Winston Churchill

Sojourn

2008-12-06T00:38:00.002-06:00

While away for the Thanksgiving holiday, I was told of a tragedy that happened just down the street from where I live. A woman was shot by her husband just before he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide. Her lifeless body was found in a pool of her own blood. “Shot? What do you mean? Did she die?” I asked. The very breath in my lungs was robbed as the answer echoed through the phone and into my ear. “Yes, she died.” This news was shocking. What came next stopped me in my tracks. The murder victim…I knew her.

Her name was Dana. I didn’t know her well, but did know of her. I went to high school with her. She is gone now. Dead. Her temporary life here on earth is now over. As I think of her now, I see her smiling. It’s the familiar memory that plays in my mind of her. That smile is comforting. However, there is a sadness there as well. It may seem strange, but I mourn the loss of someone I hardly knew. My mind is consumed as to if she knew about the gift of Salvation.

A few days after receiving the news of this woman’s death. I learned of another seemingly untimely death. This one was that of a child. Eugine Wandera, at the tender age of 14, is dead. The small city of Busia, Kenya, suffered a great loss this week. This child, took his last breath just a few short days ago. He drowned while swimming in the Sio river. Two young boys out for a swim. One walked back home, the other came back in a coffin.

Eugine’s death broke my heart. Life. It is so short. It is here one second, and gone the next. As an orphan, what had he endured in life? It seemed so unfair. Who would purchase his coffin? Who would mourn this loss? I couldn’t shake the thought of how he never had the chance to live the life he deserved. Life as an orphan is tough. It’s unfair, and it nothing short of breaks my heart. There are so many just like him out there. They wait. They wait for a life most only dream of. A life with a forever family.

As always, I have questions. How many missed opportunities to be used in sharing the ultimate Gift, will be complied in my earthly sojourn. How many children will die today..children that you or I could have sponsored, adopted, prayed for, or whispered “Jesus Loves You” in their ear? Why is it so easy for us to look to the Lord with a perplexed and sometimes even angry expression as if to second guess or question His plan in things? He tells us to go out and spread the Good News. Yet, we don’t. When will we learn?

I remember not many years ago while in college, a young man committed suicide just a hundred yards from me. I was held in the building for hours before he pulled the trigger. I was trapped there. Told that I couldn’t leave because a gunman was in the parking lot. There were many of us. We were told to not walk by the windows and to remain low. Scared at first, but after hours past, we began to think about other things. About the time I was complaining to someone about my weekend plans. *Pop* Just like that. In an instant, he was dead. That moment changed my life. I realized then more than ever, how precious life was. That surreal moment was embodied with me superficially complaining about life, while a man so close by decided life wasn’t worth living anymore and ended his. I remember seeing his mother fall to her knees as the policeman told her that her son was dead. Something in me changed in that moment. Life never seemed so short.

Our sojourn. It’s packed full of opportunities to serve Him and to do it well. We don’t know how much time we have, so we best live life doing as much as possible right now. Reach out. Take a step. Share Christ’s love. Do it now. Do it tomorrow. Do it often. Make the difference in the life of someone else. Reach out your hand and just do it. Do something…do anything…time is short.

Passion

2008-12-02T13:07:00.002-06:00

Recently, I have been asked the questions, “What is it that you like to do?” and “What is it that you are passionate about?” Seems like an easy question, right? Seems like something easy to respond to. For some reason I have not been able to answer that question in the simple, clear, or concise way I was once able to years ago.

When you ask most people that question, “What is it in life that you like to do,” you most likely get answers that are similar to the following: I like to play tennis. I like to sew, I love skiing. I like to paint. I love to travel, etc. Those “It” things are the passions in that person’s life. Those are the things (besides the general answers of spending time with family, etc) that if they had to pick one thing they personally enjoy doing most, that is “It.”

My amazingly talented and athletic fiancé has a love for the outdoors. He reintroduced me to an old friend of mine from childhood….the bike. Phil isn’t just good at cycling. He is REALLY good. Me, on the other hand..well, let’s just say that the bicycle helmet was invented for people like me. I enjoy riding with him, and I appreciate the joy he has for it. We recently went for a short hike through the woods. I think I could really get into hiking. I liked it. It was fun, and I really enjoyed my time with him doing it and sharing those moments with him. It has been good for me to do these things because I have somehow, the past few years drifted away from being outdoors and enjoying what it has to offer.

There are lots of things I enjoy doing. However, they just don’t seem like the fitting answer to that question about what I am personally truley passionate about. There was a time in my life, not so long ago, that I was a different person. Sadly enough, I wasn’t exactly “getting it” when it came to a few things in my relationship with the Lord. I was a Christian then. However, I wasn’t living life in a way that was encompassed by the Lord’s will. Back then, I would have answered the question above much differently than I am about to attempt now.

I remember the moment so clearly. I was standing in the midst of poor in Romania. They were all around me sobbing. Some crying out for joy and thankfulness to the Lord (even though they had so little by society’s standards). Some were crying out in desperation and pain. Although they seemed to have nothing, they had so much. They were “getting it” more than I was in life. I stood amongst them as if hit by a truck. It was then the Lord hit me and hit me hard. I suddenly “Got It” and had a silent and very intimate moment with the Lord. Up until that point, I was living my life for me and asking for His help and wisdom along the way. In that moment, He revealed to me the importance of living life for HIM. It was there in that little church in the Gypsy village that I felt Him and made a promise to live my life for Him instead of for me.

From that point forward, my passion in life has been to serve Him. The joy and blessings that have been bestowed upon me are not worthy of words to describe. I cannot explain the pure joy I feel when I am intentionally and actively serving Him. The taste of it is sweeter than any other I have had. The feeling was once something I heard people talk about but never knew what it felt like to be a part of. The feeling of being in His will and serving Him while feeling His presence, is one that cannot be replicated. It’s something that once you get a true taste of it, you can’t help but want more and more.

A passion for serving, helping those in need, caring for an orphan child, lending a hand to one of the least of these in different capacities. I suppose to many, it seems strange to have this as a passion. However, that is my answer. My passion is actively serving the Lord. There are many things I enjoy doing in life, but none even come close enough to compare. I long to base my life around it.

We know that in the Bible, when Moses saw the glory of the Lord, he was changed. He was changed so much so that his physical appearance changed. I used to often speak to others in presentations and messages about this transformation and was reminded of it recently in a message at church. When someone gets that close to Him, they change… period. I saw the Lord that morning in the small church in Romania. He met me there, and I was changed.

I enjoy many things in life. However, what is “IT” that I enjoy doing most in life? Serving Him. What is my favorite thing to do? Serve Him. This revelation didn’t come to me just by being raised in or attending church. It didn’t come to me by occasionally volunteering time and talents or giving to worthy causes. It didn’t even come to me by way of being a Christian. It came to me when I was seeking. It came to me when I was longing to see Him. It came to me when I said yes to serving and got up and did it. That passion is intense and I only taste it when I am actively serving. Hard to explain, but it is amazing. I find that my answer isn’t the most popular response to the posed question at times. It isn’t the answer that all understand, are looking for, can relate to, or are expecting. Maybe that is why I seem to have a hard time explaining it or answering. However, it is what it is, and I pray that I never lose it. Of all the things He has given to us to enjoy, to savor, to appreciate, and to love doing….that is my personal “IT.” Servanthood.

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Peter 4:10-11

One Man's Trash...

2008-11-30T08:00:00.001-06:00

I heard a comedian do a bit on drinking straws once. He talked about how a straw tries to embarrass you in important moments. When you go to take a sip, sometimes it forces you to chase it with your mouth and refuses to cooperate, making you look foolish. He ended the bit pretending like he was talking to a straw and said, “I don’t need you! You are a luxury item.”

Carpet. It’s a luxury item isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad for having carpet. I had carpet in my apartment that was the ugliest color ever created. It was about 20-30 years old. When it was finally changed, not only did my environment brighten up, but I my attitude did too each morning when I put my feet down. It is soft on my feet and I most definitely enjoy and am thankful for it.

I was recently helping to remodel a dinning room of someone’s house. It struck me, as I watched the carpet be slashed and pulled up, that we must seem very wasteful to those who can’t afford it. Here we were, ripping up carpet and throwing it in the dump. Yes, the carpet was very old and worn. However, I couldn’t help but think of the homes I have seen in Romania, Kenya, and Ethiopia. Some of the people I have met there, would have loved to have what we were throwing it away. No doubt there are people down the street from each of us that would have loved that carpet too.

Carpet- A luxury item. It’s an expensive piece of fibers intricately woven together so we cushion our feet, keep them warm, and will make our rooms look socially acceptable. We work hard to make money and spend a good amount of it on this item of fibers and glue. Carpet is an interesting thing to think about. I am known to analyze things too much, and I realize that. In fact, I analyze that statement too, I suppose. However, I think carpet is one of those things that is definitely a luxury item. I guess it proves that old saying true, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

In the Korogocho slum in Kenya, people ravage through the city dump site, for things..anything. They often hope to find bags. I’m referring to the plastic bags that grocery stores give us for free to carry our food. They find these bags and clean them off in the creek nearby. Then they sell those bags for food for their families. Recently I threw away an empty plastic soap bottle. I thought about how much that would mean to those living in the dump in Kenya. It would be such a rare find, a blessing, a way to buy some food. Something I considered garbage would mean so much to someone who had nothing. One man’s trash….another man’s treasure.

Thinking Back and Being Thankful

2008-11-24T09:28:00.003-06:00

The following article was written after my first mission trip experience in Nov of 2005. The pictures above are of children I met on that trip and whose faces haunted me upon my return.

With the Thanksgiving holiday on its way, the question “What are you thankful for?” seems to come up more often than other times during the year. Somehow we tend to all have the same general answers- Family, Friends, Health, Opportunity……….. I’d like to challenge you all to dig a bit deeper.

The other day, I spent some time with my sister and 4 year old, niece, Delainey. Delainey was telling us what she had done that day at her preschool. She said the teacher went around to each child and asked them what they were thankful for. My sister and I were expecting Delainey to have said she was thankful for her Barbie dolls or for her pet. She surprised us when she said, “I told my teacher I am thankful for soup.” “Soup? “ Emily asked. “You don’t like soup. In fact, I can’t get you to even eat 1 spoonful of soup when we have it for dinner. Why did you say you were thankful for soup?” By this point Emily and I were smiling and chuckling at the thought of how strange it was to be thankful for something disliked so much. In a quiet voice Delainey responded, “I don’t like soup Mommy, but I’m still thankful for it.”

Isn’t it amazing how God uses children to teach us? What Delainey said really made me think. I know many of you can relate to this: When I think about those children I met in Romania, I have many emotions. Those feelings run deep. They are the kind that you can actually feel in the pit of your stomach. Love is one, and Hurt is another. It’s a hurting feeling that I get when I think about the orphans. I have often thought about how I disliked the hurt that my heart has felt since I left Romania. It took a four year old little girl to make me realize- You know what? I may not like the hurt, but I am thankful for it. God has put that hurt there so that I won’t forget them. I am truly blessed that God has given us the gift of loving and hurting for those children. What an awesome gift! For that alone, I am thankful. Sometimes the dislikes in our lives are the blessings we should be thankful for.

I personally am thankful for many blessings I have received this past year. Friends, family, health, and opportunity are only a few. I am so thankful for God meeting me in Romania in response to be being faithful to His call to go and serve.

So, I leave you with a challenge. I challenge you to really ponder the question: “What are you thankful for.”

Psalm 107 1:1 Thank the Lord because he is good. His love continues forever.